𝑨𝑵 (𝑰𝑴)𝑷𝑬𝑹𝑭𝑬𝑪𝑻 𝑫𝑰𝑺𝑨𝑺𝑻𝑬𝑹 || 𝑃𝑎𝑟𝑘 𝑆𝑒𝑜𝑛𝑔ℎ𝑤𝑎✔

Chapter 5

I couldn't sleep for a second last night,
I kept thinking without finding peace.

I was thinking of him and only of him, of Seonghwa and the effect that had made me see him again and be so close to him.

Just the thought of our fingers entwined under the table makes me smile without being able to restrain myself.

Gosh, I look like a teenager in a hormone storm..again.

I have been locked in my room since this morning, until I saw from the window my father get out Seonghwa's suitcase of the car and take it to the house.

I hadn't even seen him, I refused.
I closed the curtains and put on the headphones with the songs of Troye Sivan at full volume.

And here I am, at lunchtime, with a grumbling stomach, while listening to fools, intent on writing in my diary sitting on my bed.

I have been keeping a diary since I was thirteen, roughly the age when I stopped seeing my best friend as a simple friend.

I did it because it helped me to let off steam;
at the time I had no friends outside Seonghwa, and surely I would not have revealed to anyone those feelings that I found so ridiculous towards a boy so unattainable for me.

I still write it, it has become a habit for me and these days I have felt the strong need again ..Also because my best friend, Julie, is in France visiting relatives and will be back in a few days.
I can't wait to talk to her, I need my psychological help.

The song ends and I pick up the phone to see what awaits me in the playlist.

I look up and jump on the bed in surprise; Seonghwa is leaning against the door, in all his seductive elegance, staring at me.

He is wearing light jeans and a tight black sweater, which highlights his long and muscular physique.
He really looks like a model.

Seonghwa stays there, looking at me and then takes a step forward and closes the door behind him, snapping the lock.

"Why didn't you come to greet me?"
His tone is authoritarian and serious, but at the same time strangely persuasive.

"You shouldn't be here"
I say in a whisper, getting up quickly from the bed.
I can't be alone with him, his presence makes me lose any ability to reason.

"You didn't answer my question"
He keeps moving forward and I backing away, until I find myself against the desk.

"I was busy"
I answer, continuing to look around me feeling like an animal trapped.

Seonghwa stops in front of me, so close as to force me to bend my neck to look at him.

He cares my cheek with his knuckles, with painful slowness.

"Liar"
He whispers in my ear, and chills run through my body reflexively.

"Seonghwa please.."
I don't even know what I'm asking him, to stay or leave.

"I missed hearing my name come out of your lips"
Our eyes meet for the first time in three years.
They are just as I remembered them, black and deep, with its thousand shades.

"I don't know what happened, but let me fix it"
I see the confusion in his eyes.

But is it possible that he doesn't realize?

I nod, now surrendered, and he drags me to him in a hug.
I would almost cry in his arms, aware that I have to erase the feelings I have for him if I want to survive.