Protect Me Not

Chapter 4

Mary's in flight meal arrived. Mary loved flying first class, it always had it perks. Her pre ordered meal of the finest cut of steak and garlic mashed potatoes beautifully arranged on fine china was placed on her over-sized tray. Mary's stomach immediately began to echo sounds of hunger but she was too deep into her own thoughts to notice. Mary robotically picked up her fork and carefully shuffled her way through the potatoes all while remembering how beautiful her first love with Richard started.

"Slow down Tiger," Victor said jerking Mary back to his world.

"I'm sorry, I didn't realize how hungry I was," Mary concluded.

"I'm glad you're eating. I know our schedules have been really hectic these days, and I hope you are taking care of yourself," Victor said with concern.

"I am," is all Mary could muster.

Mary always took pride in her health by going to the gym regularly and ensuring she was eating a well balanced diet rich in organic foods. Mary's always been a strong advocate of locally grown food, pure in its natural state and free from hormones and pesticides. She always reads her food labels ensuring the food she consumed was chemical free and not genetically modified. Victor adored her dedication to health and was thankful for her commitment to it. Her healthy habits that she flawlessly practiced on a regular basis helped Victor stay healthy too. After his car accident a few years back, Mary insisted Victor eat a well-balanced and organic whole diet in order for his body to heal. Fortunately, he did not sustain any lifelong injuries and was able to get back on his feet within a few short months. Victor doesn't speak of the accident very often but when he does, he always mentions how well Mary nursed him back to great health with her knowledge of super foods and healing agents.

"I don't doubt it for a moment," Victor added. "You've always known how to keep us healthy."

Only Victor does doubt it slightly this time. Telling Mary he had been observing her downward spiral in physical and mental health would only be spoken in poor judgment at this time. Victor's fully aware that Mary has been self punishing herself on an unconscious level. If she truly wanted to heal from her past, she would have to take responsibility for her actions and recognize her own chastisements. Seeking professional therapy would be her stepping stone to healing only she needed to come to that conclusion herself.

"Can I get the stewardess to fetch you something to drink?" Victor asked.

"Yes! Actually I would love a glass of Chardonnay please," Mary willingly answered. "This flight has me a little shaken up with all the turbulence. That put together with the horrible sleep I had last night has me in a bit of an uneasy state. Truthfully, I haven't been sleeping well for some time now."

"I have noticed you tossing and turning more than usual but I didn't bother saying anything to you. I presumed you're dealing with a big work load?" Victor said trying to sound innocent.

"Yes. That's it!" Mary regretfully lied. "You know me so well."

Victor sensed the hint of sarcasm in Mary's voice so he decided to leave well enough alone. Every time he tried to comfort or offer help to her these days, he experienced resistance. Aware of how independent Mary's been, he didn't want to intrude on her personal matter or space. She's always opened up to Victor on her own accord and this situation would serve to be no different. When Mary was ready to divulge her inner thoughts, feelings and fears, Victor would be the open and willing shoulder she needed.

"One glass of Chardonnay for my beautiful lady," Victor announced taking Mary by surprise.

Mary's constant escape in and out of the present moment slowly played on Victor's patience but he still said nothing. He wasn't even sure how he managed to keep his composure in check for this long. Mary's constant absence from their relationship was really driving a wedge between them.