Protect Me Not

Chapter 24

The winds were fierce and unforgiving as daylight entered Mary's hotel suite. The pressure and constant pounding in her head gave life to last night's memories. Mary smiled to herself as she recollected the fun evening of food and drinks. It seemed like forever and a day since she truly let go of all her emotional luggage and just had fun. There was not a worry to be had from her that evening including the dreaded hangover she was now living. Mary couldn't remember much of what happened after her telephone call to Victor but she was not concerned in the least. She was back in her suite, safe and sound. She did however feel slightly off. The nausea she was experiencing was not typical of a night out full of drinking. Mary felt lightheaded and queasy. When she stood up she felt a rush of blood drain from her upper extremities straight down to her feet. After drinking some water, Mary opened her bathroom drawer and removed the pregnancy test she had brought with her from New York. She thought maybe the stress and anxiety from reliving her Richard nightmare had been the culprit of her queasiness but to be on the safe side, she purchased a pregnancy test. Her plan was to take the pregnancy test while staying in Toronto. She didn't want to give false hope to Victor knowing how much he had dreamt about having a child. When she first arrived in Toronto, Mary wanted to get settled in first before jumping right into a pregnancy test. She was almost certain her upset stomach was caused by her anxiety and nerves. There had been a few days she felt great, mostly when she had been preoccupied by Camden. It seemed like everything was right in her world when Camden was around. So much so, it worried her that her feelings for him might have grown more than what was acceptable and appropriate for a married woman. She found herself smiling and feeling like a giddy school girl whenever she was around him. Last night was no exception. They shared an intimate dinner together full of great conversation and memorable moments of laughter. At one point during their evening together, Mary fantasized what it would be like to kiss him. He was so charming and giving of himself. There were no invisible walls hiding their true identities. She could be herself, her strong independent self around him. Camden was never trying to rescue her from anyone let alone herself. He always allowed her to have her own voice, her own thoughts and make her own decisions. That seemed to be the big difference between him and Victor. She loved Victor whole heartedly but there was this undeniable attraction to Camden she just couldn't put her finger on. The obvious fact that he was good looking came secondary to his persona.

Mary caught a glimpse of herself in the bathroom mirror. Even through last night's makeup, she was glowing. This was the first time in Mary's life she has felt so grounded and put together yet everything in her life was everything but put together. Mary was away from her husband and the home they spent over 9 years building together. She put her career on hold; a career she spent countless hours, days and years growing. She felt like she was falling in love with someone she just met and now there was a possibility that she could be pregnant. There was nothing secure or grounded in her life at the moment, yet she was the happiest she had ever been.

"This is going to be some therapy session today," she muttered to herself.

The adrenalin rush of taking the pregnancy test had her pacing her suite back and forth. Mary was feeling nervous for her first telephone therapy session which exasperated her tense state even more. She tried to pre-script her initial conversation before placing the call to her therapist, but every time she thought she knew what she would say, her thoughts tapered off to the pregnancy test sitting in the bathroom waiting to be read.

"I can't think of that right now," again muttering out loud. "No distraction right now!"

Mary found a comfortable spot on the couch where she envisioned her therapy call to take place. She had already wrapped herself up into a nice warm bathrobe and placed a fresh brewed Camomile Tea on the side table that awaited her attention. All the comfort tools she needed were there at her reach. As she picked up the phone to place the long overdue call, she remembered the picture of her and Camden taken at dinner the night before. She opened the image and stared at it for a moment. She could almost hear his encouraging voice telling her to make the call. As she dialed the Doctor's number, she took in a deep breath and waited. To her surprise, a recording came on explaining the pilot program of telephone therapy. She could only imagine that the recording was protocol and probably had to be done for legality reasons. The recorded voice was that of a female who spoke firm with a steady tone. The professional voice explained the telephone therapy session starting with the session being recorded and that any and all information shared through the untraditional pilot method was the sole property of Doctor Copeland. None of the information would be shared with third parties or sold to agencies. A bunch more legal jargon was spewed to what seemed to be an eternity. Mary quickly lost interest in the recording and was about to hang up when she heard the recording indicating it was redirecting her call to Doctor Copeland. Feeling a little unsettled and still nauseous, Mary straightened up her pose on the couch as if sitting upright would help her sound more professional.