Protect Me Not

Chapter 9

Mary jolted upright forgetting she was soaking in her tub. Wrapping her arms around her legs in an upright fetal position, Mary listened intently to ensure there was no one in her suite. It was then, at that moment she realized the importance of getting herself help.

"I'm safe...I am safe...I...am...safe," Mary repeated until she fully accepted the words coming out of her mouth.

Not having Victor there to protect, support and ensure her safety, Mary found herself very vulnerable and lonely.

"I need to call him so he can tell me everything is going to be okay," she said out loud hoping her words resonated truth to her ears.

Stepping out of the cold bath, Mary reached for her towel. She caught a glimpse of her naked body in the foggy mirror. Stopping in mid grab of her towel, she analyzed her shape and posture. She noticed a shift in her skeletal frame even though she was still firm and in good health. Her once very erect and almost militant posture had now shifted. Her shoulders started to curl and her head appeared to hang forward more than she has ever noticed. With a sense of defeat Mary turned away and wrapped her tattered soul with her bathrobe.

"I can't do this anymore," she whimpered as she reached for her cell phone.

Mary made her way into the kitchenette area to make a hot cup of tea hoping to sooth her soul and calm her fears. Reluctantly she started to dial Victor but cancelled the call before it connected.

"What am I doing?" she asked herself. "I can't possibly call Victor and allow him to know how brutally weak I am right now."

The internal voice of reason told Mary that Victor was the perfect person to call during her personal crisis. Victor had always been on her side, her rock and her voice of reason. He was exactly who she should be calling right now. Knowing that she pushed Victor away shamed her deeply and now she wanted nothing more than to be held in his strong and safe arms. Mary dialed his number again, this time allowing the connection to go through.

"Hello? Mary? It's late, is everything okay?" Victor asked with concern in his voice.

"Yes Victor, everything is okay...for now anyway," she stated with mild fear still reverberating in her voice.

"Baby, please take a deep breath and try to keep calm. I can be on the next flight out to help you get through anything you need," Victor assured her.

"Thank you my love," Mary responded gently and with a little more ease. "I really just needed to hear your kind voice. You've always had a calming way about you and it keeps me grounded."

"I'm so very happy to hear you can find solace and comfort within my words," he asserted.

"You've always had that benevolent affect on me. Just like when we first met. You took me under your wing and nurtured my every waking moment. It's now time for me to spread my own wings and learn to do it on my own. I'm not saying I'm not thankful for all that you've done for me but I really do think it's time I get the appropriate care I need," Mary expressed.

"I cannot agree with you more my dear, Victor consented. "I just can't help but want to walk along side with you through your journey. All I've ever wanted was your true love and all I've ever needed was given but there is always that shadow of doubt with you. You could never fully open your heart to me."

"I'm sorry," she whispered. "I really want to give you my whole heart and soul in this marriage and that is exactly why I'm seeking the help I need now."

"I'm with you one hundred percent baby," Victor confirmed. "Your health and mental well being is the only thing I want and need you to concentrate on right now."