DRASTIC (Book 4 of the Soundcrush Series)

Chapter 12: Drummer Boys Hurt

Bodie

First class air travel brings no rest to the kind of weary I am.

Nor does the crown and ginger I'm drinking.

I keep trying to work it out in my head, but I can't.

I gave up trying to work out my guilt over the dead man.

Or maybe Marley was right. Maybe her compassion, her tender care, washed some of that desperation away.

Yeah, so I lied to her in the note I sent her.

I remember everything.

Every word. Every touch. Every feeling.

I gave up trying to block it out—the way I feel about Marley. How I'm drawn to her, even at the same time I'm afraid of her.

I even gave up trying to work out how I can feel Marley so much while I'm supposed to be with Arabella.

I decided I'm going to chalk all that shit up to what chics always say—you never get over your first.

I don't even know Marley. I didn't really know her twelve years ago, and I don't know her now. I layed beside her this morning for more than an hour, watching her beautiful sleeping face, trying to work out whether or not she's lying to me about the boy.

That's the thing I can't stop trying to work out.

Does she think he's my son?

Was she trying to hide his existence from me?

Is she, like me, afraid of the truth?

If she really thinks he's Daemon's son...why didn't she tell me already that she had a kid with him? We've talked about Daemon three times—virtually every time I've talked to her since we got real. We talked about old times. We talked about prison. We talked about Daemon contacting her in the present. She never mentioned he had good reason to.

No, I can't tell if she's lying.

Probably because my own truth is so murky.

Why didn't I tell her on that beach, when I asked her about prison, that I knew she had a baby in jail? Why didn't I ask her what happened to him?

For god's sakes, why didn't I tell her the truth last night? Why didn't I tell her about the paternity test? About TJ? About his plan? The plan he denies now? The plan he so suddenly says was just "all talk" that he didn't follow through on?

Okay, I know the answer to those questions.

I didn't tell her because Daemon is still a dangerous, lying motherfucker. And if Marley is telling me the truth—if she really does think Daemon is the father of her son—it's best if she goes on believing that. If he had any reason to think the kid wasn't his, I'm not sure what he would do. To the kid or Marley.

I replay what happened in the garage after Marley left, word for word, action for action, seeking any clue, any hint, that he might suspect what I suspect.

The door hadn't fully closed behind her when he bared his teeth.

"Feels like we've been here before, Bodie, but I have to ask. Are you screwing around with Marley? Fucking her? Messin' with her head? Making her think she's more than one of your fangirls?"

I refrain from poppin' back that I might be the only dude that's ever been straight with her. He certainly wasn't, and from the sounds of it, the ex-fiancee was scamming her, too.