DRASTIC (Book 4 of the Soundcrush Series)

Chapter 35: Smart Girls Flashback

This was supposed to be a Flashback Friday thing, but I didn't quite get it finished. So happy Saturday Flashback!

The Song: Love Shack by the B-52's. Nothing could be more appropriate for the party at Casa Soundcrush. The B-52's are also from Athens, from whence Soundcrush hails...

Marley

Six Years Ago, at Casa Soundcrush in Athens

"This is a bad idea," I protest.

Stephanie drags me by the hand up the crumbling concrete walk. We stop in front of the tiny house with peeling paint.

"It's not a bad idea. You've been stalking him for a year, hoping he would recognize you. It's getting creepy. Besides, it's now or never. You are graduating in two weeks."

My roommate is right. I am pretty creepy the way I sit in the back of the coffee house on Music Mondays, watching him on stage.

I discovered Bodie by accident, when I dropped by the coffeehouse where Stephanie works. I couldn't believe the boy I used to know was on that stage, with a talent I had no idea he possessed. His presence as natural as the new dreads and confident head-bob.

I sat in the back with an Americano to which I distractedly added to much sugar, drinking in much more of him than the coffee.

Back then it was only Leed and Bodie with a couple of acoustics—or sometimes Bodie with a bongo—doing unexpected covers that worked. Leed singing lead in his resonant timbre, Bodie providing a subtle but surprisingly effective harmony. They had a vibe like Bon Iver but instead of the raw vocals, they murmured velvet into their mics.

I appreciated the music, but it wasn't their performance that mesmerized me. It was Bodie's expressions while he sang. I told myself over and over I was imagining the similarity of his side-eye looks and Darius' mischievous glances.

You're seeing what you want to see, I told myself. Darius looks nothing like him.

But I couldn't stop seeing it.

When they finished, they packed up their mics and amp and chatted with Stephanie on their way out. I edged up to the counter, waiting patiently for Bodie to turn to me. Waiting for his smile to light, and then, maybe dim in old hurt and anger as recognition filled his amber eyes. But I was hopeful he might be able to forgive me. We were both so far from where we were all those years ago.

He did turn. He did smile. But his smile was generic—for a stranger. His eyes unrecognizing. I ducked my head, dumped my empty cup in the dish tray and fled.

What did I think I was going to say to him, anyway?

Hey, remember me? Listen, I'm really sorry that I almost got you shot in the head. By the way, that night? I got pregnant, and I have a six year old son. I want him to be yours and not Daemon's so badly that I'm imagining he looks like you, even when I know a paternity test says he can't be yours. Oh, great set by the way. Really like that cover of Iris.

I kept going back to watch him, making no more attempts to approach him. Eventually, their duo became a full band and the sound slowly transformed. Soundcrush was emerging.

I watched the transformation in anonymity. Bodie never saw me for me. He passed me by dozens of times. Eventually, I told Stephanie that I used to know him, and have a huge crush on him, but that he obviously didn't remember me.

I never told her about his near-miss with being my babydaddy. She knew about Darius, of course, because I had been going home every weekend since freshman year to be with him.