More than a friend

Ch 2: Selfishness

After speaking to Alberta I went to only person I knew would support me through this. My best friend, my bond mate. Lissa.
When I checked in with her through the bond I saw that Christian was with her. I wasn't very comfortable telling Lissa the truth with him there but I needed to tell someone and I knew I could trust Lissa.

"Rose are you okay? You look like you're about to cry," said Lissa as she guided me to her bed. I couldn't hold it back any longer. I cried on her shoulder as she held me tight. Christian looked lost for words since he had never seen me so vulnerable and broken.

"He's gone," I kept saying. "He left me."
"Whose gone Rose? What's going on?" asked Lissa.
"Dimitri. He left and he isn't coming back."
I told them the whole truth, from Victor's lust charm all till Mason's death.
When I was coming toward the time in the cabin I could feel Lissa's anger growing. I thought at first it was because of Dimitri and his abrupt disappearance. But I was sadly mistaken.
Before I could finish what I was saying, Lissa jumped up from the bed and looked at me with so much betrayal and anger.

"I don'tbelieve this," she mumbled quietly to herself. "How could you have kept this from me for so long? How could you not trust me? I thought we were closer than that. Do I mean nothing to you?" screamed Lissa.

I was shocked. I didn't know what to say. But clearly she knew exactly what she wanted to say. "I was there for you for years. We are like sisters yet now I find out you've been keeping secrets from me. And the worst part is you endangered my life too.

"If you just stayed away from him I wouldn't have been kidnapped by Victor in the first place. You gave him the opportunity to torture me! And from what I've read in here," she said waving the letter in her hand, "you put Christian and my life in danger again to go save your boyfriend. What if something happened? What if he or I were killed? Then what? You wouldn't care, right? Because you would have had Dimitri. But where is he now, huh? He left you! And now you want to cry by me. I never ever would have thought you would be this selfish Rose. Never."

"Selfish? I have given up everything for you Lissa. My freedom, my dream, dear God, I even gave up my own sanity and wellbeing for you by sucking all your darkness out of you. And yet I'm the selfish one?" I scream back at her, too furious to even care who is listening at this point.

"That was your job as my Guardian, Rose. That was your duty." She snapped back at me.

"No Lissa. I didn't do that because it was a job. I did it because you're my best friends, because I loved you. But if that's all you think I am to you, just some Guardian than I don't want to be your Guardian."

"Then don't be! Go run off and cry for some pathetic guy who left you."

"ENOUGH!" screamed Christian. I even forgot he was there. " Lissa how could you say that? What's going on with you? She's your best friend."

"I'm sorry but I can't be best friends with someone who would put my or your life in danger for their own selfish reason." Says Lissa.

"I have never put your life at risk Lissa. Everything I did was to protect you and if you can't see that then maybe...it's for best that we just don't friends," I softly say as I turn and run back to my dorm. I couldn't stand to look at her anymore. It felt like my world was crumbling all around me. I had never felt this much pain before. I struggled to breathe, to even walk straight. My body felt like it was shutting down but I pushed myself to keep going until I reached my door.

It felt like I had finally used up all my energy and I collapsed as soon as I got in. The tiny room was filled with the sound of my pitiful sobs, echoing around me like alarm bells. A siren of pathetic emptiness.
How could he leave me? How could he possibly think that leaving me would make everything better? How could he think my life could ever be the same without him in it? And after everything he promised me. That perfect life.  Our future together.  Every. Single. Bit of. Hope.
Gone, just like him.