Join Me... Please ~ Reylo

4

The first place she went to was too Luke. She needed help. The darkness was beginning to consume her, and she knew that without guidance, it would do the same to her as it had to- to Ben. 

"Why are you back here?"

"I'm sorry," she cried, "I'm so sorry."

Luke looked at her, shocked by her sudden outburst of tears.

"Ben he- he captured me and trained me in the dark side of the force. I thought it would help me have better control but I don't. I have no control. Whenever I think of being on the ship, fighting with him and training I lose myself. I forgot people. People I would have died for only a few months before. I was there for 6 months Luke, and as soon as I left I wanted to turn back around,"

"It's not the darkness that's consumed you," he said, turning away from her. He seemed to be in deep thought, "it's Ben,"

"What?" she asked, the tears refusing to stop.

"If you hadn't have met Ben. If it was someone else- you wouldn't feel the same. You'd have escaped 4 months ago. But you didn't. You stayed because you wanted to stay. You wanted to stay because you're in love,"

"Love?!" she screeched, "Absolutely not! I just... you don't understand,"

"Then make me," the words hurt her heart a little. The words Ben had been saying to her for months.

"I can feel him. Always. Even now I can feel him. It's distant but it's there,"

"And you claim you're not in love," Luke said under his breath and rolled his eyes, "Look, I trained Ben myself. I know him better than most. You're best bet is to forget about him. Love makes people do dangerous things, Rey. It's why a Jedi can't ever be in love with someone. It's what sent my father down the path that Ben's decided to follow-"

"Why didn't you teach me everything?"

"You weren't ready."

"Then why let me leave?"

The man furrowed his brow, unsure of how to respond, "You needed to apply the skills I had already given you-"

"Liar. You think I'm weak,"

"No I do not."

"Yes you do! It's obvious. You think I'm weak just like everyone else. You underestimate me. You have always underestimated me!" she shouted.

"Don't you dare! I didn't even want to train you, it was you begging me for my help! I don't underestimated you, I never have. Not for a second. This is Ben talking. Not Rey." he walked away.

As the sun set over the cliffs that night she laid in bed, deep in thought. Should she stay with Luke, or go back to Leia? Go to the first order or go to the resistance? Go to Finn or go to Ben...

What was she thinking? Go back to the first order? Was she insane? That was not on the table. Ben wasn't on the table. She had abandoned him; injured by her hand. She couldn't understand how she had managed to trick herself into thinking they could be friends. Though, it had been only three days since she had landed here, she missed fighting with him. She wanted to hear his laugh when he took her saber apart, again. She wanted to see the concentration in his eyes when training in the force. She missed the red glow of his lightsaber, and the sparks that flew when it collided with her own. The saber he had put in her hand himself, when he couldn't have trusted her less. He made her into the woman she now was. Someone who had had extraordinary potential and unlocked it- or so Kylo said. So Ben said. 

Kylo Ren. She hated that name. He was so much more than that foul name. He was Ben Solo- one of the most gifted Jedi she had ever met. The most powerful man she had ever met. Though, physically he could be bested, his mind was a temple. A highly guarded temple, with walls as high as mountains and guards at every entrance. A temple where darkness dominated, but never won. A constant conflict. A temple, only she had been allowed to venture in- or so it seemed. Every stone was made from hatred, regret and resentment. He wanted to push the world away, deep down. She could feel it in his soul. But he also wanted to make his grandfather proud. To stop is parents from destroying his legacy. 

She had much to thank him for. He had made her into the strong woman that she thought she was before. He had turned her misjudgement into a reality. She was never strong before him. Her life was a desperate attempt at a dream never meant to come true. She thought that it was her determination to find her parents that drove her and made her strong, but, Ben had proven that wrong.

"Concentrate," he said, harsh looking her in the eyes.

"I am concentrating!" she snapped, making him sigh.

"This is your problem, you have no control. You let your emotions over rule you. You should never let your emotions win- you use them as a shield. Harness them and use them to your ability, don't just have an outburst,"

"Hypocrite," she muttered.

"You're not listening!" he exclaimed, "This is exactly what I'm talking about with you!" he sighed, calming himself down and raising his hand to the side of his head, "can I?" 

She nodded, appreciative of the fact that he had asked her for permission, though she knew he would likely pay no attention if she said no. 

"Anger's not enough. Not nearly enough," he said, narrowing his eyes slightly, "Your parents. They left you on Jakku. It makes you feel sad; rejected. Like you're not good enough. You need to use that. Let it fuel you. Every time you swing your lightsaber, you think of them leaving you. Think of how they abandoned you- a little, defenceless girl, to fight the world. Alone," a stream of tears fell down Rey's cheek, "now..." he looked into her eyes and stood back, "Try again," 

She lifted her hands and tensed her arms, "No," he came behind her, and gently lowered her arms to next to her sides, "relax," he said softly, "picture it in your mind," she turned her head, and found him closer to her than she had anticipated. Their faces were barely an inch from each other, his hands still gently rested on her arms. She looked into his eyes, exploring them. They were like dark, gentle orbs, "don't use your arms, use your hands. Your hands are the tool, but your mind is the source," he ran his fingers down her arm, to her hand and lifted it up from the wrist, "think of them Rey. Think of how they left you. How you were stranded; alone. They thought you were weak," he said into her ear, "show them you're not. Prove to them that they never should have left you on that planet," the ship began to raise off the ground slightly, "show them who you are. Who you've become. Prove all of them wrong. Luke thinks you're not ready- show him that you are. Show him what he should have taught you, "he moved slightly closer, "show them all what you're capable of," he said gently, sending a jolt of electricity down her spine and to the ends of her fingertips, "picture it lifting. Hovering in the air," he turned her hand slightly round. Rey's eye's were closed tightly, as she strained to keep the tears back, "open your eyes," he said, quietly as the ship floated off the ground. Rey felt her shoulders grow heavy and her mind become fogged as she collapsed. As Ben instinctively tried to stop her from falling, the energy rebounded and threw him across the room, into a wall. 

He grunted, in pain, "Rey?" he asked, "Rey!" 

"Ben," he heard her whisper.

"You know... that's not my... name," he said between grunts as he tried to move.