Whole Lot More

Chapter Forty

Chapter Forty

Another week followed. Yet another week of no answered phone calls. Each day he left her a different voicemail - just to hear her voice and hope that maybe she listened to them just to hear his voice, also.

It was the same old every time.

Six rings then...

"Hi, this is Brynne. I'm sorry I can't take your call right now, but if you leave your name, number, and a brief message, I will get back to you as quickly as I can."

The line beeped and he sighed.

"I love you, Brynne Matthews."

*

Brynne's eyes misted as she listened to the five words that she had once longed to hear, come out of his mouth - but now they only caused her to hurt.

His voice had sounded deep, and oh-so-good. He sounded like - Martin. Like the man she knew she still loved but wasn't ready to forget.

The phone calls had come daily for the last month, and she longed to just listen to his voicemails just to hear his voice. For now, that was just going to have to be enough for her.

Her hand shook on the top of Lucky's head as the tears cascaded down her cheeks.

Things could be so different.

*

"I just want to talk to her!" Martin exclaimed, "I want to tell her I'm sorry and that I love her! I'm so sick of her voicemail - I want to hear her voice, not her voicemail!"

"MT man, you have to understand that she's hurt. You hurt her and she's not ready to get over that. And until she is, she has every right to not answer your calls - maybe she wants you to realize how bad you fucked up, or maybe she doesn't trust herself if she hears your voice."

"Well I need to do something, anything to let her know I've realized how much I screwed up and how I'm willing to do anything to make her forgive me."

"You're not thinking about going and doing something drastic and stupid, are you?"

Martin looked at one of his best friends and shrugged his shoulders, "I don't know Josh, I really don't know what I'm thinking about doing. I have to do something though. I can't idly sit by and watch the woman I love walk out of my life."

"But remember what Julie said - she obviously doesn't want to see anyone, not even her best friend. Don't push her further away, Martin."

"Well I'm not going to just let her push me away! Especially not over Kaleen - that girl means absolutely nothing to me - and Brynne means everything."

"Have you thought about sending her something? I mean, she won't answer your calls, but if you send her flowers or something with a note maybe she would read it and call you?"

The wheels started turning in Martin's head, "Josh, you're a genius!"

"Well, I know that," Josh joked, "What are you still sitting here for man? There's that flower shop downtown that will ship flowers for you."

Martin got up from his desk and headed towards the door; he had to write out what he wanted to say to Brynne. Boy, wasn't there plenty he wanted to say.

*

For having so much to say, he certainly couldn't seem to put any of his thoughts down on paper. He sat there for awhile thinking, feeling. And yet, still nothing.

He thought about the last couple of weeks and how he felt knowing she wasn't in his life anymore. And he thought about how she might feel in Boston, alone. All because of him.

A song he had heard numerous times in the few weeks since she had left came back to mind. In his eyes, this song was his life at the moment.

This song was his thoughts.

Now I know I messed up bad
You were the best I ever had
I let you down in the worst way
It hurts me every single day
I'm dying to let you know

Now I'm here to say I'm sorry
And ask for a second chance
Cause when it all comes down to the end
I could sure use a friend

So many things I would take back
You were the best I ever had
I don't blame you for hating me
I didn't mean to make you leave

You and I were living like a love song
I feel so bad, I feel so bad that you're gone
Now I know you're the only one that I want
I want you back, I want you

Now I'm here to say I'm sorry
And ask for a second chance
Cause when it all comes down to the end
I could sure use a friend
Now I'm here to say I'm sorry
And ask for a second chance
All I want to do is make it up to you
Cause when it all comes down to the end
You were the best I ever had

We fell in love for a reason
Now you're leaving
And I just want you back
So many things we believed in
Now you're leaving and words won't bring you back
I'll never let go of the heart I broke

You and I were living like a love song
Now I know you're the only one that I want
I want you back, I want you

Now I'm here to say I'm sorry
And ask for a second chance
All I want to do is make it up to you
Cause when it all comes down to the end
I could sure use a friend
Now I'm here to say I'm sorry
And ask for a second chance
All I want to do is make it up to you
Cause when it all comes down to the end
You were the best I ever had

I can't believe that I threw away all our dreams
I can't believe now that you're gone how much you mean to me
I feel so bad, I feel so bad
You were the best I ever had
I can't believe that I threw away all our dreams
I can't believe now that you're gone how much you mean to me
I feel so bad, I feel so bad
You were,
You were the best I ever had

I love you. I miss you. I want you back. I need you back. I'm not whole without you Brynne. I need you.

Martin

"Sir? Sir?"

He distractedly looked up at the flower shop attendant. "I'm sorry?"

"Are you all set sir?"

"Yes, yes I am."

"Good. We can get this sent right out for you then."

Martin nodded. He couldn't have said what he needed to say better himself.

*

Three days later.

Martin was disappointed. He still hadn't heard from Brynne, even after he'd had the flowers sent to the club days ago. He had really been hoping the flowers and note attached to them would have at least made Brynne call him.

He didn't think he could wait any longer for her, he had to take things into his own hands.

Sitting in his motor coach in Indianapolis, he picked up his phone and scrolled through his phone contacts, looking for the number to the club that Brynne had programmed in his phone when she had been staying with him one weekend.

It was getting to be dinnertime, so she would be at the club, preparing for what the night ahead could put into their laps.

The line rang three times, before a breathless-sounding Tara answered the phone.

"Fusion, this is Tara, how may I help you?"

He frowned, wondering why exactly Tara was answering the phone. Maybe they were already busy.

"Tara, can I talk to Brynne please?"

"Martin?"

"Um yeah, this is Martin. Would you put Brynne on for me?"

"What do you mean?" Tara asked.

"I mean... I would like to speak to Brynne."

"Martin, Brynne's not here," Tara told him.

"I realize she probably asked you to cover for her with me and tell me she's not there so she doesn't have to talk to me, but please just put her on the phone - this is important."

"I really don't know what the hell you're talking about Martin. Brynne really isn't here. She hasn't been here for weeks."

"What do you mean for weeks?" Martin asked.

"She called me weeks ago - right after that weekend that she went away with you and asked me if I could watch over things for a while longer."

"Shit," Martin swore.

"Martin, what's going on? Isn't Brynne with you? That's where I thought she was!" But Martin had already hung up before the questions were even out of Tara's mouth.

*

Martin flew out of the coach straight to Junior's, and didn't even bother knocking on the door. He marched up the stairs and right into the living area, standing over Julie with a scowl.

"Why didn't you tell me she wasn't working?"

Julie's eyes were wide with surprise at Martin's entrance, looking up at him like he'd gone crazy. "When did you fly off the deep end?"

He laid his hand on Julie's arm, trying to pull her up to stand in front of him, causing Junior to stand up and put himself between Martin and Julie. "Whoa MT, chill out for a minute, there's no need to grab onto her." Martin took a couple deep breaths and Junior nodded, "Good, now what the hell is going on?"

"Brynne - why didn't anyone tell me she wasn't working? She's definitely not alright if she's not working!"

"What do you mean not working?" Julie asked.

"I just called the club and Tara answered and was confused when I asked for Brynne. Said Brynne called her weeks ago and asked her to watch over things for a while longer because she wasn't going to be able to be around!"

"Well then where is she?"

"I don't know! Tara thought she was with me! And we've been under the impression that she was in Boston going about her normal life which she hasn't been!"

"We don't know that she isn't in Boston," Junior pointed out.

"And nothing really bad has happened," Julie said, "I just talked to her last night. She doesn't sound fine, but she's not dead."

"I have to go to Boston!"

"Martin," Junior scolded, "What about the races this weekend? We have qualifying tonight, and the Busch race tomorrow night."

"Fuck the race!" Martin spat, "This is more important than any fucking race and anything in this sport!"

"Now Martin, don't be overdramatic..."

"She's your best friend Julie, don't you care what is going on with her?"

"Of course I care what's going on with her," Julie snapped, "But don't forget why she's in this shape in the first place - you're the one who did this to her, not me."

"Okay guys, seriously. There is no reason to bite each other's heads off. You both love her, there's no need to fight. Why don't we just send someone to Boston to check on her. And now Martin it is not going to be you... Josh is here this weekend, we can send him. They were friends, he'll make her laugh... that's probably just what she needs."

"Did I hear my name?" Josh asked as he walked into Junior's coach.

"Good timing," Junior said, "We need you to go to Boston."

"What for?"

"To check up on Brynne," Martin told him, going into the story of everything they had just found out. It was finally agreed that Josh would go to Boston to check up on Brynne. Flight arrangements were made and Josh was on his way two hours later.

*

Josh departed the plane into Logan International Airport and hailed himself a cab. He read Brynne's address off the piece of paper Martin had written it down on and sat back as the driver took him through the city, before he stopped outside a huge apartment building.

He paid the driver and grabbed his small carry-on bag and headed towards the main entrance, immediately spotting the elevator across the lobby and jumping on it.

The elevator took him to the floor he needed and he walked off and wandered down the hallway, looking at the numbers on the apartment doors, finally finding himself standing outside of what Martin had said was Brynne's apartment building.

His hand banged on the door, having to do so three times before he heard something - or someone - moving inside the apartment. The door was opened and he sucked in a breath and let it right back out. "Jeez Brynne, you look like shit."

***

Song lyrics are from the song "Best I Ever Had" by State of Shock