Strawberry Milk | Pentagon Kino

Chapter 42

Kino's POV

"I don't understand myself. I'm hurt and disappointed that she didn't tell me sooner. I mean, my hopes were really high and I already have a plan for the day she arrives."

I stared at my guitar at the corner of my room, a journal beside it containing songs I wrote for her. And beside it is a box, a box full of treasures.

"She was also surprised by the sudden extension. Maybe she didn't know how to tell you. And we know Seorin, her emotions can overpower her and her decisions." Jinho calmy explained, patting my back.

Hongseok was quietly watching us. His gaze looked dark, slightly scaring a part of me.

Jinho set aside his bottle and stood up. Hongseok and I watch his every move intently. The atmosphere in the room was quite heavy.

He walked towards my guitar and grabbed it, then went back to his seat. I looked at him confused but he just began strumming.

He stopped and looked at me. "They say singing helps ease your mood whenever you're stressed. Music is really there for you whenever you're feeling down, happy, stressed, and whatever emotion you feel."

I nodded, he's right. Music is always there for me, and writing songs help me release my emotions.

He began playing a song I really love. A song that I wrote. A song that makes me think of Seorin,

Violet.

Violet is both our favorite color. I remember the time when I wrote this song. She was randomly humming a tune that caught my attention. I really loved it that I made it into a song.

I got inspiration from watching her walk around the garden, her fingers touching flowers as she walks. And when she saw a violet flower, a soft and heart melting smile grew on her face while her eyes scream excitement.

══════ ∘◦🍓◦∘ ═══════

I woke up and felt as if my head is being beaten. I guess I drinked too much last night.

I reached for my phone and saw tons of texts from Seorin,

PaboSeorin 💜:
hi kino! we're opening gifts and i just got a violet cardigan!  i remembered you the moment i received it. anyways, how's the celebration there?
12:10 am

i heard that hongseok and jinho are also there, tell them i wish them a merry christmas uwu
12:17 am

hey kino, hui said he's bought a gift for you and he's excited to give it to you when we go back. and ofc i am too :)
12:51 am

it's pretty late so i guess you're either still celebrating with jinhongseok or sleeping soundly right now haha
1:19 am

i guess you're sleeping already. my kino must be tired. i know that you'll read this by tomorrow, but i hope you have a good night's sleep <3 sleep well and merry christmas! i miss you so so much
1:57 am

My vision was blurry from the tears that kept falling. I don't understand myself, but I just can't help it.

I miss her, I really really do. But I don't know why I'm feeling this way. I don't know but a part of me is drained to even talk to her. I don't understand myself.

I know I'm sensitive, but why am I feeling this way?

It hurts, and I know I can hurt her too. But I can't help push her away. I don't even understand why I kept ignoring her messages last night even though I was fully aware of them.

I hugged my pillow really tight, my fists were clenched as I weep in sorrow.

She didn't even say "I love you"

I guess I was used to us telling each other I love you, which explains why it hurts to not receive it now.

I need to breath.

I showered and prepared myself to go out. I decided to go mountain climbing to calm down and be one with nature.

I was all ready to go when I received a text.

PaboSeorin 💜:
i really really miss you right now :< i hope you have a good day ahead!

I wasn't really surprised this time when she didn't say it. A small part of me hoped, but my mind already said it won't happen.

And that was until I received another text which softened but thoroughly shattered my heart.

PaboSeorin 💜:
i love you ♡