As Lead Rains [FRERARD]

One

I've never been interested in getting to know people. I had myself and my guitar. That was all I needed. I've been this way since my dad left. It was better not to feel anything for anyone, so you're not hurt when they leave. My therapist calls it a defense mechanism. I call it smart. Then one day, I saw someone who was less interested in people than I was. Against my own will I got curious. That was new. I try and wash it down with a drink of school cafeteria grade fruit punch, but my curiosity persisted.

He sits on the cafeteria floor, drawing in a sketchbook, not looking at anyone, not talking. His hair was long, almost to his shoulders, and a bright red. He was wearing a faded Queen t-shirt. That was odd to me, no one at this school listened to Queen. It was all popstars and country singers. I was the only punk at the school. I had hair shaved on both sides with a long strip down the middle. The sides were bleached blonde with a little bit of my natural brown roots showing through. I wore band t-shirts and skinny jeans with battered converse. I stood out.

I eyed him as the cafeteria buzzes with conversation. His dark eyes never leave the page he was drawing on. I watch him for a while until he snaps his sketchbook shut and gets up off the floor. He walks over to the door that leads outside into the large courtyard. We were allowed to go there but the way he silently slipped out the door seemed odd. Almost as if he didn't want to be seen.

I get up from my spot and dump my empty carton of juice into the trash can as I follow him out the door, closing it softly behind me. When I step into the courtyard the cool breeze licks at my hair. I search the grass for him and find him leaning against the wall with a cigarette in his mouth. I watch as the trail of smoke curls up around him. The smell of flowers hits my nose and I sneeze. It startles him and the cigarette falls from him mouth into the grass.

Shit!

He stomps on it quickly putting it out before the grass around it catches fire. He glances around the courtyard looking for me and I feel like hiding. I hadn't talked to anyone but my mom and teachers in years. I'm not even sure I knew how. He stares at me with wide eyes.

Were you following me?

N-no.

He raises an angled eyebrow at me.

M-may-maybe.

I look away from him, my face flushing. My stuttering had gotten worse over the years. It's most of the reason I don't talk to anyone. That and the fact that I never felt like I needed to. Or wanted to. He shrugs and pulls out another cigarette and lights it. He takes a long drag and blows smoke into the breeze.

Did you need something?

I stare at his face, taking in all of his features. He has greenish brown hazel eyes like mine. Under his eyes is dark as if he didn't sleep. His nose is a long and skinny one that ends in a sharp point. His lips are thin and a baby pink color. I'm taken aback by how attractive he is. Great. First I think someone is interesting. Next attractive? I better leave before I want to fuck him too. I turn on my heels and bolt back into the cafeteria, leaving him standing there, alone with his cigarettes.