As Lead Rains [FRERARD]

Eight

I-I w-well. I-it was the summer of 2001 a-and w-we had j-just s-started high s-school. Jamia and I m-met a-and we became f-fast friends. W-we hung out all the t-time. Then s-she asked me t-to homecoming. I-it was a b-big proposal a-almost like it w-was prom or s-something. I-it was in front of all her f-friends and I s-said n-no. 

Gerard's eyebrows crunch together. 

Why? It seemed like you guys were getting along. 

I'm n-not into...I-I don't...I don't l-like girls. 

Oh.

Y-yeah.

My face flushes and I look down at the carpet. 

I embarrassed her in f-front of all her f-friends and they laughed a-at her until she called m-me a...t-things and told me th-that I s-should be ashamed t-to be alive. She vowed t-to make me f-feel as hum-humiliated as she did th-that day.

That's horrible Frank...

Th-that's not all...she w-went to my p-parents and told them that I-I'm gay. My d-d-dad h-h-h...

Hey...It's okay. 

Gerard pulls me close into a hug and I can feel my eyes start to fill with tears. 

My dad l-left us. S-said he couldn't h-have a gay s-son. That I was a disgrace t-to the family n-name. 

The tears begin to fall and I quickly dig my head deeper into Gerard's chest so he doesn't see. Instead of laughing at me or letting go he grabs me tighter and starts to lightly comb my hair with his fingers. I sigh and my breath catches in a sob. He leads me to his bed and sets us both down, his arms still wrapped around me. He rocks me slowly back and forth like how my mother used to when I would get upset.

I don't know how long we sit there but by the time Gerard speaks my tears have dried.

I'm gay too.

He pauses as if he was unsure of if he wanted to say what he was thinking.

So was my brother. So I understand what you're going through. 

W-wait....was?

I feel his chest move as he sighs deeply. 

Yeah. The bullies...they got into his head. They would call him names and say things about him until he started to believe them. He killed himself a few months ago. That's why we moved here.

O-oh Gerard I'm s-so sorry. I-I didn't know. 

It's okay. I mean it's not okay but it's not your fault or anything. 

He gives me a weak smile. 

I-is that why y-you stood up f-for me?

Well that and the fact that I like you.

He hides his face with his palm but through his fingers I see his cheeks turn pink. Wait...did he mean that he likes me likes me? I feel my face heat up. Did I like him too? Maybe. I never really let myself have crushes since my dad hated the fact that I was gay so much I started to repress it. I never even let myself have friends for that matter, but here I was with my new friend, curled up in his chest.

I reach my hand up and pull Gerard's hand away from his face and stare, seemingly seeing him for the first time. His eyes sparkle at me. He really was attractive. Fuck. His hand grips tighter on mine as we stare into each others eyes. He starts to lean his head forward and to the right a bit and I feel my body following his lead. Our lips meet and my brain seems to melt. My eyes close.