Come Back | Yoonkook

Chapter 10

"Hyung, everything okay? You're a lot quieter than usual." Hobi asks softly as walk away from campus. I'd texted him just yesterday to let him know what happened, solely so that I wouldn't have to explain if I really did begin to sink as low as I know I eventually will. I just shrug in response though, knowing damn well that I'm not okay but not having the heart or willpower to actually answer verbally.

He looks back over at me worriedly, but I can't exactly blame him. Him, Jin hyung, Jimin and Jungkook were the four that had been there for me when I finally got released from the hospital. While the rest of the school kind of just ran the other way in fear, the four of them always stayed by my side as Jungkookie slowly worked with me to help me get better than what the hospital had been able to do. The other three, as much as they wanted to help and did in the sense that they never left me or gave up on me, they just didn't have many ideas as to how they could help me. They all watched me get better with Jungkook's help, they saw how poorly I was still doing when I'd been released from the hospital. They knew how much I'd been struggling and deteriorating before my brother finally sent me into the hospital.

Though, I'm not entirely sure how much I appreciate the fact that they also know by now the different signs of just how poorly I'm doing. It's not like I want to be left alone, not that I don't appreciate the fact that they know me well enough to see and know the signs. It's not that at all. However, beginning to slip backwards towards how I used to be, it becomes something mildly irritating because I know what they'll try to do soon enough. Before long, they'll grow worried enough to the point where they won't want to leave me alone for long. If that happens... I may really begin to lose it all then, lose them all because I'll start pushing at that point. And I don't want that.

"Come on, hyung. Why don't we go visit Jin hyung at that noodle shop he opened up? I can text Jiminie to meet us there so that we can all hang out together again. Kind of just like old times, right?" Hobi offers gently, and I know he's trying hard not to push me too far.

"I think I might just go home, Hobi. I appreciate the offer, but I don't really think I'm up to that much interaction right now." I manage to whisper. He frowns worriedly at this, stopping us as he looks over towards me.

"Babe, are you sure that's the best thing for you right now? You and I can go find a different little coffeeshop to hangout at for a bit, if you'd rather?" He questions gently. I just bite my lower lip and shake my head though, knowing I wouldn't be able to really converse much with him even if I know he knows that and that he wouldn't mind.

"Babe, are you sure going home already is the best idea? You usually aren't there for another couple hours yet and Jin hyung is busy working right now. I don't think he even gets off until nine thirty, and you'd be able to get dinner if we went there. I don't even have to invite Jimin if that's what was bothering you about that." Hoseok argues cautiously. I purse my lips for a moment, hanging my head a bit.

"I need time to process everything on my own, Hobi. I just... I think I'm just gonna go home." I murmur, forcing myself to be loud enough for him to actually hear and comprehend what I'm saying. Glancing back up at him, he sighs but gives me a small concerned smile.

"Okay, Yoon. You can always call me if you get scared or need anything at all. I'm here for you, babe, just like Jin hyung and Jimin. Try to take care of yourself, okay?" Hobi says softly, pulling me into a tight hug. I squeeze my eyes shut to try and hold back the tears as I wrap my arms around him too, forcing myself to take a deep breath before nodding. I manage a tiny smile up at him before turning and heading off to take a quicker route home since we aren't going to where Kookie works.

Wrapping my arms around myself on the walk home, I keep my head ducked so as not to be able to really see anyone around me. I don't want to see the different little kids walking with their parents or the different friends together or the couples that are walking around on the sidewalk while they hold hands. I don't wanna see any of it. It hurts enough being left alone like this, but it'd be fucking torture to have to see all of that as well.

The walk home itself feels like torture all on its own though. Knowing I'm going to place that we'd gotten together, just for the two of us. Knowing I'm going to a place that was only ever a home with him there. Knowing I'm going to a place that he'll most likely never come back to.