i think i love you • matthew healy

1. soft sound

hi!

this is the second part for "takes a bit more". if you haven't read that yet i suggest u do x also, this story is all from rhiannon's pov unless stated.

that's all. really hope u enjoy n stay for the ride . keep safe Xx

—

i want to feel deep guilt for running away from my responsibilities.

the responsibility of being someone's girlfriend, after promising to be there no matter what.

the fuck happened to that, rhiannon?

i promised matty i would be there for him.

i didn't last even two weeks when he left.

george must have been the one to break the news. or ross or adam, probably, to lessen the impact.

adam had been the last one to see me before i left. i told him i had to get somewhere, and just disappeared after that.

i wonder what he felt when he found out. sometimes that just keeps me up at night. did he cry? was he blaming himself? he always liked blaming himself didn't he?

truth is i didn't want to feel responsible again for his sadness. maybe that's why i took off and never looked back. i didn't want to make things worse.

i had matty's blood in my hands and i dealt with it by disappearing.

but that was more than a year ago.

they got this new album. i like it when you sleep for you are so beautiful—

it's so fucking long.

and from the looks of it, it's clear that he—and everyone else—have forgotten all about me in the first place.

—

last year

"rhian?"

george sounded desperate. he'd been calling every day for a week.

"rhian, fuck. where are you?"

"you don't need to know, george."

"at least tell me you're safe."

"i'm safe. i..." i took a deep breath. "i'm okay."

i felt awful.

he fell quiet for awhile. of course he didn't know what to say. i didn't.

"he's fucking worried, rhian." george said, desperation in his tone. "he... he's calling every day asking if you'd come back home."

the pain in my chest felt like it was going to explode. "he broke up with me, george."

"he didn't mean that." he said at once. "i mean, i know he doesn't. he's probably lost his head at the time and—"

"he meant that."

out of all the things matty had said, it was that one i probably believed the most.

i cleared my throat. "i suppose he's better off saying that, anyway."

"rhian, i—"