i think i love you • matthew healy

22. trainers

"where have you been?"

alice doesn't sound too happy with me showing up 2 days later. 

ollie is sitting on the edge of the kitchen sink, his arms crossed and his mouth closed, though his eyes look like he's feeling sad for me. or maybe scared for himself? i've no idea. 

i sigh, kicking my trainers off with my feet. "matty overdosed." 

"god. is he okay?" ollie asks at once. i nod my head. 

"your sister came to see you." alice says out of nowhere, as if she doesn't care about matty. maybe she doesn't. i hardly think she ever did. 

but fucking hell. "eunice was here?" 

it doesn't sound right to be calling her my sister. sure, financial-wise she's been keeping me afloat the past year, but apart from that, no one in my bloodline seems to be family to me. 

alice frowns. "yeah, and i had to make up a fucking lame excuse as to why you weren't here. why weren't you answering your cell?"

"uh... my phone died." i reply dumbly.

she sighs deeply, pushing her dark hair away from her face. "tell matty to get his shit together, will you?"

alice storms off to her room, and for a moment ollie and i both hear her say, "maybe he could help get your shit together too." 

"she's just worried about you." ollie tells me once we're alone. "i know it's quite annoying having her up in your business. she just sees you as her little sister i suppose." 

i roll my eyes, finally bringing out my dead phone to plug it in somewhere around the room. 

"have you been going to classes, rhian?" 

i stare at my phone, waiting for it to turn back on. "i'm planning on dropping out, honestly." it finally lights up, thank god. i wouldn't be able to afford one if it didn't.

i hear ollie groan. "you know your sister wouldn't like that." 

"no one would like that, ollie." i frown at him. "but have they ever asked me if i do?" 

and speak of the devil. a text message from eunice pops up on my screen first before a couple others, which are only from alice anyway (talk about family). 

hi rhiannon, are you available for some catching up maybe tomorrow in the AM? or will you be busy with uni? went by your flat today but alice said you were studying in the library. call me anytime to let me know, love you and miss you x

i ring her a couple seconds later, and she answers on the second ring as if she has been waiting for my call her entire life. 

"hi, rhian, thank god you called. i was getting worried about you." her voice sounds sweet and caring and it leaves a sour taste in my mouth. "are you alright?"

"hi." i croak, clutching the end of my jacket tightly. "yeah. sorry, i was... i was really busy."

"don't worry, i completely understand. could we meet tomorrow, though? there's something really important i need to talk to you about." 

immediately, my mind starts making up excuses. 

like maybe i could say i got the flu. or that exams are tomorrow and i haven't slept because i've been studying all night. does eunice know about my schedule? has she gone completely mad that she's got contact with my professors? fucking hell, what if she has?

"it's about your mum, rhiannon. she wants to talk to you." 

i almost want to throw my phone against the wall.