i think i love you • matthew healy

5. home

a/n: this concert scene's inspired by their full O2 concert last 2016, absolutely mental set <3 also this photo's from idk 2013/2014??? yeah timelines fucked sorry x

—

my hands are freezing.

i've been standing at the back of the venue for about twenty minutes now, around a particularly empty area away from the thousands of people in queue at the entrance. i've not gone to a concert recently—the last one was still with matty and the boys when they did quite a few shows last year.

it feels rather strange what a year could do. the shows then were rather small and intimate.

this one clearly isn't.

probably half of the people in queue are wearing shirts with their rectangle logo, even going as far as looking like matty even, with the haircut and the ripped jeans and all.

i finish off my second cigarette and my phone buzzes with a text from him.

i'll meet you at the back. xx

i feel stupid. and insane.

just last night i wanted nothing to do with him, now i'm standing at the back of o2 arena like a desperate groupie.

after a minute or two i see him come out from a backdoor, wearing a suit and tie. my heart literally skips a beat.

stupid. insane.

he looks so good.

i walk towards him slowly.

"hi—" i say, not knowing what to say with my mind running a mile a minute.

he wraps his arm around me, kissing the top of my head. "hey, you."

frustration is all i feel.

i miss this. him.

it doesn't make any sense.

"you smell different." i whisper to his chest as he quickly grabs my hand and leads me back inside before anyone could see us.

"yeah?" matty looks at me with amusement, thick black eyeliner on his lids. "well that's what worldwide fame does to you, darling."

i roll my eyes, but in truth my hand finally feels home wrapped around his and i just don't want to say anything. "i see you're still quite full of yourself."

he laughs. "i've missed you too, love."

it doesn't make any sense.

—

i didn't realise i missed everyone until i finally saw them backstage, few minutes before the show.

both adam and ross had given me a rather long embrace, saying how much they've missed having me around.

"but we don't quite live together anymore since matty and his fucking ego wanted to buy his own flat." adam had said, eyeing matty who was talking to jamie.

"yeah, though i still live with adam and john, in case you got nowhere to stay." ross had told me. "george did say you live in london?"

george had seen me beforehand, though he's only talking to me now that i'm sat on the sofa going through my phone.

"you alright rhian?" he asks, sitting beside me after matty hands me a glass of champagne.

i smile at him. "i can't believe you guys are this huge."

"same here." he says as he exhales the smoke from his mouth. "hey, i want to apologise for yesterday. matty had a bit too much to drink and couldn't stop himself from talking."