Attractive Idiot [NaNoWriMo]

13

Alexia's POV

Colin's hands dropped from my shoulders.

"What do you mean you can't see me anymore? You're breaking up with me?"

I felt pain ripping at my heart as I forced myself to nod, and my soul was being sucked away as I said, "I can't be your tutor either. I can't have any sort of contact with you, ever."

Colin's expression changed to confusion. "Why? I thought you liked me.. No, I know you like me. You're torn up about this, so why do it?"

My heart broke further, and now Colin looked as if he was going to cry. My natural reaction was to get really defensive, it's what always happened when I was feeling weak, vulnerable. "Does it matter why? I'm sorry, but I just can't see you anymore, okay?" I snapped. "Why do you even like me? I'm just a know-it-all brainiac, nobody in this entire school has ever looked at me twice, so why you?" My defenses started out strong, my words clear and sharp. By the end, however, I was back to feeling broken and sad inside as I realized the truth. Nobody had ever given me a second glance, aside from asking for help in one subject or another. So why did Colin take such a liking to me?

"Are you kidding?" Colin scoffed. "Yes, you're a know-it-all brainiac, but you're also really funny, with a great personality. I've always seen you living life to the fullest, despite your incredibly busy schedule. Guys are just too intimidated to face someone as beautiful and smart as you, which is why they haven't asked you out. I was just lucky that I had an opportunity like this tutoring thing, and even luckier that you actually said yes."

Every word that he said really pulled at my heartstrings. "Colin..." I trailed, unsure what to say. I felt my decision wavering, part of me actually wanting to disobey my parents in order to stay with Colin.

"Yeah," he continued, really getting into his little tangent, "plus my friends all said you were unobtainable, but I clearly proved them wrong." He seemed lost in the memory, smirking proudly at the reminiscent.

While he was celebrating, my world just collapsed.

I thought I couldn't feel any shittier. Apparently, I could.

"Wow," I muttered, my temper beginning to flare. "Wow," I reiterated, louder. "So I was just some sort of prize to you? Is that what you're saying?" My teeth were grinding together, hands forming into fists.

"What?" he asked, confused. Then it clicked, and he realized what he said. "Wait, no, I didn't mean it like that-"

"Then how did you mean it?" I cut him off, sneering. "There's no other way to interpret that. I can't believe you used me! And here I was, about to fall for your charm and make the biggest mistake of my life!" I paused, thinking for a second. Then I shook my head. "No, saying yes in the first place was the biggest mistake of my life." Colin looked at me with big eyes, mouth gaping. I stood up, eyes cold. "Goodbye Colin, and never talk to me again," I said frigidly, turning and walking out of the library, my pride shattered.

It was all because of him I lost my family's trust, I lost the will to trust others, and I disgraced my family. All because I fell for some stupid, attractive idiot.

"Alexia! Wait! Stop!" I heard him scrambling after me, but I refused to turn. I remained tall as I strode down the hall, and eventually he stopped his pursuits.

I guess the question is who's the bigger idiot?

I left the school, unable to take it in there anymore. I didn't even want to be in the same place he was right now, but I also didn't want to go home.

My life was in shambles.

And it's all his fault...

"It's all his fault!" I screamed out into the cold air, the rain still coming down hard. My scream was lost in the winds, and my anger and hurt prevented me from feeling the cold drops as they landed on my skin.