!!!
this chapter contains imagery of self-harm, body dysmorphia, and suicidal thoughts. please keep yourself safe.
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turning up the temperature
water pouring down on my exposed body;
it stings.
i don't know why i do that to myself.
open wounds of recent breakdowns
liquid dripping down my limbs
i look up at the shower head.
the water causes steam,
maybe it could be an accident
slipping in the shower;
cooked away by the boiling
burns and scars on my body
people told me i was beautiful
but i deserve the pain, i suppose.
carving my body to look like models
my stomach hangs over my pant legs
arms droop down when i hold them up,
shape them, mold them,
make them look right.
i practice my disguise in the shower
smile, laugh, if i fake it, it's alright.
am i a fake?
voices of praise
cover rationality
'you're doing the right thing'
'the more you hurt,
the better.'
i could sit here forever,
voices over thinking for me
my scars sting
the water burns
bruises would cry if moved slightly,
but i don't move.
i'm too tired.
maybe if i just fell asleep,
it could be an accident, right?
dead, death, die.
i could dye my hair.
that would make me pretty, right?
that could make me worth something.
maybe if i said i wasn't okay
i could get help.
'no.
you don't deserve help.'
i'm too tired to argue.
i should get out of the shower.
tears washed away
by the rain of the shower head
down the drain,
my sadness flows.
i'm numb.
water falling,
a white noise machine,
voices only grow stronger.
i wouldn't be tired anymore
if i slipped from
under the shower head.
i could be shower dead.
YOU ARE READING
-𝐰𝐡𝐢𝐫𝐥𝐰𝐢𝐧𝐝.
Poetrya collection of poems based around mental illness. = this book may contain images that trigger specific individuals. please read the content warnings and keep yourself safe! = " pounds dropping, rain drops of relapse, recovery is a journey but smal...
