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[the next day]

I had to wake myself up this morning and open the curtains, I made my bed and tidied my desk up since it was messy before I went to sleep, I got my clothes and went for a shower.

The whole day I was in my phone hovering of Ethan's contact so desperate to ring him "I fucked up" I say to myself.

I sat alone at the tables whilst everybody including the boys were looking at me, all of the messaged me to hang out with them but Id feel like a dick if I hang out with them especially since I'm the reason their friend is still in New Jersey.

I went back to my dorm and I sat at my desk resting my head on my laptop as my phone goes off

Grayson: I can tell what your doing
Me: you can?
Grayson: your pushing me and the boys away because you feel weird because our other friend is still in NJ
Me: wow that's a good guess
Me: and correct
Grayson: stop pushing everyone away Av
Me: I'm not
Me: I just feel awkward with Ethan at school
Grayson: so do I but we both have the boys
Me: I don't know

I put my phone down and look at the photo in Ethan's bed and then I lift up my laptop and start watching toy story.

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