Dorm Mates// E.G.D

7

[this chapter contains suicidal, depression and anxiety in it so if you get easily triggered i suggest you skip this chapter <3 also i have put a song in here]


Dream

"do it" the devil on my shoulder says "you have so much to live for dont do it" the angel on the other shoulder says as I look down "what are you stupid her siblings dont even like her and her mother hates her" the devil says as I look around and see the crowd i have surrounding me.

An officer runs up to me "young lady" he says pushing through the crowd "young lady get down please" He says standing behind me as I turn around tears flowing from my face "you have so much to live for" the officer says "and i bet your friends will miss you so much"he continues.

"i know times get tough and you want to give up but things will get better please get down from there" He says stopping as Ethans words repeat in my head ill always be there to help you tears continue to stream down my face.

"the one person who said he would always be there to help me has left" I sob "left me for someone else" I continue "my bestfriend" i whisper as I lean back off Pasadena bridge "NOOO" I hear the officer yell.

End Of Dream
The Next Day

I gasp sitting up looking around and realise that im in my dorm "woah whats up" Ethan says lifting his head up from his phone "nothing just a bad dream" I say running my hand through my hair "was about to wake you up soon aswell" He says "but you alright" He asks me "yeah i guess" I sigh.

"do you wanna talk about it" he asks as I shake my head "you look nice by the way" He says "I only just woke up though" I say as he shakes his head "doesnt matter you look nice" He smiles as I bite my bottom lip whilst looking at him "yeah you too" I say kinda turned on by his hair and abs and he smirks at me also biting his lower lip.

"what time is it" I chuckle awkwardly realising what i just did "uh ten to eight" He says chuckling awkwardly aswell "we have class soon" I smile to him as he nods "Im gonna go get ready see you in class" I say to him as he nods.

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I walk over to the girls who were jumping up in down and Autumn turns around "did you hear the news" She squeals "That those two got fucked by Dolan"I say confused "How did you know about April" Emma says confused.

"She was at the Dolans this morning" April says as I put my loose hair behind my ear "Did you sleep with the Grayson" Hannah says as I shake my head "No of course not id never sleep with any of them" I say kind of disgusted "so what were you doing there" April says.

"Was there to get a ride to school" I lie looking down at my shoes "So you cant get enough of him" April says "We know you like him" Emma says "I dont like him Emma" I say "Me and Grayson were gonna talk to him about some issues" I lie to them pulling my phone out messaging Ethan.

Me: Ethan get your ass to my friend group because they are bullying me and if the girls ask what i was doing at your house tell them grayson and i needed to talk to you, dont you dare act like you always do around me like be hot and shit

I send the message and look behind me "you dont need to deny your feelings" I hear Hannah say as I look at her with an angry expression as I look back to Ethan who checks his phone and then looks to us as I look back to my group.

"do you think ethan likes on of you guys" I ask them "do we think" Autumn says "We know he likes us what kind of question is that" She says with a smartass tone "its my question dont give me smartass tone" I roll my eyes "Hes coming quick be normal" Emma says.

"Be normal who" I say pretending to be confused as Ethan wraps his arm around my shoulders "Hey Ethan" I smile "Hey Ava" He replies with a smile "Hey Uhm Ethan" Autumn Stutters "Yeah whats up" He says "Me and the girls were wondering why Ava was at your house this morning" Autumn asks him as he looks at me.

"didnt you tell them" Ethan says as the girls get closer to us and we both look at each other "Grayson and Ava needed to talk with me" He says "about what" April says "Uhm" "They wanted to see if I wanted to come with them to the movies friday night" He says saving my life "Oh" The girls say disappointed.

Whilst Ethan turns around he whispers in my ear "welcome" i look behind me as he walks off and winks "damn it i would have thought you were dating one of the dolans" Hannah says "no just good friends with them i guess especially since i see them every single day" I say.

Me: you know i just realised why do you have a dorm when you like like 20 minutes away

Ethan: mum says its more efficient for my experience here, i just gotta ask who pays for your fees

Me: My mum does for my birthday and christmas present every year

Ethan: wait so she pays for your dorm and college fees as apart of your birthday and christmas presents thats sad

Me: Im used to it by the way thanks for the excuse of the movie thing i didnt think they would ask about that and be nosy

Ethan: No worries like I said ill always be there to help you :)

I look up from my phone "Hellloooo Earth to Ava" Emma says making me look up from my phone "who was that" She asks as I look behind me and back to the group "no one" I smile focusing my attention back on the group.

"you sure" Hannah asks as I bite my lip slowly looking at my phone and then back at the group"yeah" I smile.

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Dear Diary,

I thought I saw a man brought to life he was warm, he came around like he was dignified he showed me what it was to cry, well you couldn't be that man I adored You don't seem to know, don't seem to care what your heart is for no, I don't know him anymore there's nothin' where we used to lie conversation has run dry.

That's what's going on nothing's fine, I'm torn I'm all out of faith this is how I feel, I'm cold and I am shamed lying naked on the floor Illusion never changed into something real wide awake and I can see the perfect sky is torn you're a little late
Im already torn.

-Ava