The journal of odd occurences

Facts about me.

Just so I do not get messages and comments asking who I am, and what is so terribly odd about me, I will list all that comes to mind here. (But really, this is just an excuse to write to pass the time.)

The name I go by is Rose. However, feel free to call me anything you'd like. Nina, Silver, Silverrose, etc. I have chosen the name "Rose" as my utmost favorite due to the meaning behind it. Roses are very beautiful; yet they all hold thorns. I, too, used to have thorns. However I tore them off. This opened up many opportunities for me, as now I am able to speak my mind, and be as open as possible. Honest, as well. I've no secrets to hide (except from those I feel will have no understanding of my circumstance whatsoever). So truly, if you are deserving of the truth, ask and you shall recieve.

I am known to be a very kind and calm individual. Cheerful, as well. Do not take my cold demeanor as an excuse to not speak to me. (I tend to sound cold and unapproachable when I write, as I am attempting to be as professional as possible.) I am not easily angered, however certain things do trigger me. When angered, my coldness will no longer be a demeanor. What does trigger me, you ask? Disrespecting me, attempting to bring me down, etc. Not only will these efforts go to waste in order to upset and discourage me, you will be the one paying the price. Take this as a warning, not a suggestion. I truly do not wish to hurt any of you. Respect me, and I respect you. If not, you will be shown no mercy.

If you have done something that has upset me, but not angered me, I will take a break. No, I will not make an effort to make you upset as well. As I said, I am very calm and forgiving. I do apologise if this may seem "edgy", as some would put it. My writing tends to sound very threatening often times. (Due to no expressions used in it.) But truly, my intention is not to frighten you away. During a conversation, I will be using more expressions. Feel free to drop by my DMs anytime. I will be delighted to answer any questions you may have (that were not answered in this chapter.)

My personality tends to be very unstable. (Not DID in any shape or form.) What this could mean would be the fact that I may sound cheerful one moment, and cold the next. This is due to the intensity of the emotions I feel. If my feelings are neutral, I seem distant. If angered, intimidating and cold. If in a generally merry mood, I am excessively cheerful. Do keep in mind, I am able to surpress my emotions at will. (At least for those that cannot tell the energies I give off at that moment.) More often than not, I will be cheerful, so you needn't worry. Think of it as my default emotion.

I am known for my ability to distinguish between others' emotions. I can tell if an individual is feeling unwell, dissatisfied, cheerful, and so on. I do feel what you feel to some extent, and this is what signals what you may be feeling. The closer we are, and the longer we have spoken, the better I can do this. I observe your normal way of speaking automatically, and once that is broken, I pick up on it as a change in mood. What you may be feeling (negative or positive) is derived from speech patterns and what info I have discovered from your basic emotions. (I do not need to do anything, this is an automatic process.) And of course, empathy has a part in it as well. I do not understand this very well, myself, but emotions are somewhat my specialty. If you attempt to lie at all regarding your emotions, I will understand and not pursue any further. But I will know your true emotions.

My abilities, I believe, have come from my overwhelming curiosity. As a child, I asked one too many questions. (I still do, of course. However not as intensive as before.) I have always been a hoarder of knowledge, and wish to know all there is about the universe. I think it is a very mysterious, wonderful place. So much to discover, and yet so little time. Some would label this as "childhood innocence" or "childhood curiosity". Should I take pride in retaining these qualities still? Perhaps. Who can say? 

I have so much love to give, to others and the universe. With my "thorns" gone, I can finally accomplish this efficiently. Hate is one of the few emotions I am not capable of. I do not know the reason for this, but even when angered, it will not be hate. I will be terribly disappointed in you as an individual, however. It is as close to hate as I can get. I may not love myself as much as I'd hope, and is healthy, but this does not stop me from loving others in the slightest. I love to love, is the best way I can put it. Love is my passion. And my passion is love. 

If I trust you as an individual, my love is truly overflowing. Merely speaking about this fills me with joy. I do not see others as good, or evil. I do not let that blind me. It doesnt matter what you have done, or what you have seen. The past is just that: passed and gone. I, too, have done horrid things in my lifetime. But that fact has finally caused me to become better and kinder. Fortunately, our actions do not define us. It's what is inside that matters to me. It should be what matters to everyone. Alas, the phrase: "Do not judge a book by its' cover" has not taught humanity any lessons.

Animals and children are naturally attracted to me. The reason for this is unknown to me; perhaps because they can sense my love for them. It is a silly predicament, however, since interacting with me longer than one day is poisonous to them. Every pet I came to have died. I did not interact with babies for longer than a day, except for my dear cousin whom is 1 and a half. He has now fallen ill, despite drinking milk still. Milk is meant to be protection against all forms of colds, due to the antibiotics in it, however he has been with me for a few days and now came down with a fever. Those with weak immune systems will naturally grow ill after interacting with me. I do not understand this myself, but I hope to soon. So that I can prevent it.

I do have anemia, but this is not contagious in the slightest. Even if I am a very sickly person, I try to be as cheerful as possible. True strength draws from the heart, not the mind or body. Weakness becomes our strength. It causes us to fight harder, to be motivated. Love is no weakness; we will then have a reason to fight. To fight for the ones we love and the ones we care about. My anemia is quite severe, and so my symptoms are intense in nature. An example would be oversleeping. This is due to the lack of enough oxygen circulating to the body. The body grows weary fairly quickly. Another would be excessive thirst; the body is looking for other sources of oxygen. Dizziness and nausea are also common symptoms. The inevitable symptoms would be difficulty breathing, and occasional headaches. This physical illness may be limiting; but the very least I have been given time to sharpen my mind. 

 I may be frightened, sometimes. I am human. I laugh and I cry. I fear the unknown like the rest of you. But I face my fears. See, true bravery isn't having no fears at all. That is just being a fool. It is admitting you are afraid, and facing it headlong. It is fear that makes us strong and able. Not bravery. It is our mistakes that make us grow. Not our successes. Yes, all of this frightens me. Not knowing what will happen to me in the coming days. But I'm not running. Not understanding this is humanitys' biggest mistake. They attempt to silence fear by being the strongest. The fastest. The smartest. But we are not. We are but mere dust in the wind, in this vast universe. Nothing but ants. And that is what we will always be.