The journal of odd occurences

Curious.

There is always this mesmerizing beauty to dark things. Ironic to think I once feared this very realm I cannot will myself to leave. I'd never set a foot into the dark, not even for one moment. I had seen what it could do; I had heard and I had felt. Now, whilst knowing this very fact, I find the darkness the most eerily beautiful place of serenity. I sit in a realm of my own and let the darkness engulf me. I am no longer afraid; instead I am overcome with this longing. It is the only thing which satisfies me, the only thing which calms me. Often I dare to think that the darkness loves me just as much as I love it. It holds me and whispers gently to me. I ponder sometimes if I may be a part of it, just as it is a part of me.

The day is arrogant and prideful, while the night is calm and gentle. They are a needed balance, for one cannot exist without the other. The darkness fascinates me, and I love it so dearly. There are so many more wonders to discover, so many delicious secrets and mysteries that light just does not have. Daylight illuminates all, and so leaves no room for discovery or wonder. Ever since I was a child, I longed for the unknown. For things I could not reach. That I could not see. As I grew older, the longing grew still. I lived my life not knowing what the emptiness I felt was. As if a piece of me was adrift. I searched so desperately, and now do I truly feel complete.

No, I do not regret meeting Wolf. In fact, he is the brightest part of my day. He makes me feel complete. Is he what I have been longing for? Perhaps it is so. He set off a dream in me, a dream I surely thought had subsided. He breathed life into my dying flames. He made me realize that I was not fulfilled because I was not wondering and simply seeking facts. I was not caring, I was not careful. I had become dull and lifeless. Seeking felt like a routine. But now, oh my. Seeking new things gives me so much joy, I cannot begin to describe it all in words. The rush it all gives me, oh the thrill! To seek the unknown, no matter how frightened you are, is the best addiction in the world.

I do not know what is so different about him. There is something so familiar, as if we have known each other for eons. As if my lost piece is at last recovered. Do I sound like a complete and utter lunatic? Yes. Perhaps I am. All of this insanity in the world cannot be discovered by sanity, surely! I cannot stop myself from lusting after things I cannot comprehend. I enjoy challenges in all aspects, and so the unknown and the hidden draw me in like moth to flame. They are mysteries just itching to be solved. I seek to befriend the devil himself one day, I am just that deranged, I suppose.

I have not been the only one drawn to them. These odd entities and creatures also grow curious of me. I have never been harmed due to that. Not once have any of them attempted to harm me. It can get silly, as they treat me as if a doll meant to be played with. They never tend to linger in the end, but at the end of it all, I feel content because I feel I have made new friends. A close friend of mine once commented on this very predicament: "You can tame the wildest of beasts!" It made me giggle inwardly, just due to the way she worded it. I never thought of those creatures as beasts to be tamed. I cared for them and treated them just like any friend of mine. She wasn't incorrect however. These creatures took a liking to me, when they normally never would. But Wolf, isn't he the oddest yet? For the life of me, I cannot comprehend the reason behind his actions. There is something, a spark, a stirring inside him. Only recently however. Whatever could it be? He is so complex; often I sense this loss from him. This melancholic sadness beyond my understanding. But the stirring is new. I believe it to be passion for something. Perhaps for the upcoming war? Ah yes. Likely.

Have I spoken about that certain topic? I don't believe I have. Alas, if I were to, it'd be a betrayal in itself. This is why I do not share much regarding our conversations and his identity. I have sworn to keep his secrets, and I shall. (Currently 6 AM and I have not slept a wink, so forgive me for the nonsense.)