The journal of odd occurences

Dreams

I had a bitter dream. Someone was cutting up my back with a knife. It stung, yet I was letting him do so. I was submitting myself to the person willingly. I did look terribly sad, however. I think I had no other choice nevertheless. If I didn't let him, I feel he would have done worse. He covered the entirity of my back with fresh cuts. My top was completely bare. Had he taken my clothes off? Perhaps. We sat on the floor, with my back completely at his disposal. I think he was laughing; gleefully cutting my flesh like shredded meat. Who was he? I never looked upon his face. I was too afraid, too weak to turn around.

I've had others tell me they could never read in dreams. Or sense pain. Or feel. How come I can? I could read every single text message Wolf sent me (in the dreams), or just the title of books happening to be in my hand. I could feel pain when my back was cut up. I could feel hands gripping my arm. Why is that? I've always been able to feel touches. Whether it had been hugging someone, or simply a brush of a finger.

Today, I have not been feeling well. My anemia was the worst it could be. I stood up from the bed to get some water; I felt perfectly well until a few seconds later, whence my breath caught in my throat and I could no longer support my body. I collapsed to the ground, my chest feeling heavy and my fingers tingling. My hearing began to dim. I was barely keeping up my breathing; it was raspy and wrong sounding. I remember being unable to breathe. Unable to cry for help. Unable to stand. My vision grew dark before my eyes. I could not hear, I could not feel, I could not see. My skin felt hot. Burning, even. I was terribly frightened, every part of my body trembling. It was so intense, so very intense. You cannot imagine it at all. For a moment, I recall thinking: "I'm going to die." Perhaps I was dying. I simply could not breathe. My body was shutting down.

Yet, I fought back. In the very last moments of awareness, when my hearing was barely functioning, I kept on trying to regulate my breathing. Deep breaths in and out. Soon, my vision returned. And so did my hearing. I found myself being able to stand. In a daze, I stumbled over for a drink of water. How could this have occured? I had not lost blood at all. Unless the dream of getting cut was not a dream after all... but then, where is the pain? Oddities all around, wouldn't you agree? They do say dreams follow a different set of rules. Many things may make perfect sense in them; but once you begin to follow the rules of this universe again (waking up) nothing will make sense at all. So perhaps time is also a different concept inside them. My wounds may have healed faster than average; and the blood loss not being recovered might have been due to not eating or drinking in the dream or outside it. Hence the effects lingering when I woke up.

If this is the case with my dreams, and they are leaking into this universe, (we have seen examples with many of them coming true) then sleeping is simply not safe any longer. However my health will decline even more if I do not sleep. I think I must take the risk of sleeping, simply because there is a less chance of anything terrible happening in my dreams than when I dont sleep.

I have taken so many risks during these last few weeks. Associating with Wolf was a risk in itself. See what happened? I have gotten involved, and the reason has yet to be explained to me. Curiosity killed the cat. I have been too bold, too daring. My boldness comes from my strong will to discover new things. You must take risks, in order to discover. You cannot cower in fear in hopes of finding something. Naturally, there'd be risks involved in associating with creatures such as him. Yet he reassured me: "Your aura must be disturbed by one of us, or another creature, in order to be seen as involved." Does this mean my aura has been disturbed? Whom can tell, truly? It was so terribly sudden I could barely process it. Patience is virtue, I suppose. We will have to see.