Joe Cole ~ LOVED YOU ONCE

002

Danielle has always loved airports, the hustle and bustle, as people walked past wearing faces that gleamed with excitement as they readied to be somewhere knew. But now as she was queuing to board, Dani wanted to run back home, to the safety of her favourite Deli coffee shop. She wasn't ready for anything. She wasn't ready to leave him and she surely wasn't ready to die.

It wasn't the dying that scared her, in-fact there was less fear attached to the word now that she had come face to face with it. The hardest part was the feeling of loneliness, like the rest of the world was a million miles away and everything was drifting further and further away as her grip on reality became less and less. It was a feeling of utterly loosing control of her life. Time scared her, there was never going to be enough of it. Certainly not enough for her and Joe.

It was time to go, time to let the rest of the world forget her. Death causes pain, but maybe hers didn't have to. That was the idea, if she left now maybe it wouldn't hurt so much. Maybe he didn't have to know, maybe no one did. It was nearly her time to board when she heard a familiar voice from behind her, "Danielle!"

She turned to face him, exiting the cue, "Finn, what are you doing here?" She asked.

"Why are you doing this?" He puzzled, almost breathless, "Why would you just leave? Joes heart broken-"

"You don't understand" She chocked, a lump forming in her throat, "It's not that easy, I just I can't do this, Finn please just go"

"You're right" He nodded, "I don't understand, so try explaining it to me"

"I'm sick" She blurted out.

"Okay" His voice trailed of confused, "What does that have to do with Joe-"

"No Finn, listen to me I'm sick" She further tried to explain. His face dropped, she hated seeing it, the look of sudden realisation, "really sick"

"H-how bad is it?" He stuttered, feeling caught in a bad dream.

"Its Leukemia, I have a couple years at most" She hesitantly answered, "I stopped responding to treatment a month ago, there's nothing the doctors can do, they advised me to just live as much as I can until then"

She instantly regretted telling him, forced to watch as he erupted into tears, Finn was like a brother to her. No matter how many time she had experienced break downs herself, it never made seeing someone you love going through it any easier. There was a helpless feeling that came along with watching as he lost his breath whilst salty tears slid down his face landing on his shirt. His vulnerability on full display as the blue in his eyes faded, replaced with a stone grey.

He wrapped his arms around Danielle tightly, she didn't mind, she knew he needed to feel like she would never leave. In some ways she liked to think she never would. "Danielle, you can't keep this from Joe" He stated, "I know you're trying to protect him but-"

"No buts Finn" She protested, "I never want to see Joe the way you are right now. Let him go on thinking I'm living an amazing life in America. Working in law firm, with a husband, maybe even a couple kids, you know the whole white picket fence life. That way he never has to know the pain of really saying goodbye" She suggests, smiling as she imagined the life she had always dreamed for herself, "Can you do that for me"

"I don't know Dani-"

"Please"

"Okay..Okay, yeah I can do that for you"