big daddy matty

the barbarous battle

   While zooming down the highway, Matty B had a look of pure constipation in his ocean blue eyeBALLS. As he sped at 99.978465126 miles per hour, I recognized this sign in him - he had a pimple on nipple #12. I quickly milked him before shooting him up with his ~favorite~ heroine knowing he would be fighting hard in the battle to come. We finally arrived at the Tops Friendly Market parking lot, Jacob was already there. Looks like he went 0.000000007 miles per hour faster than us. That fucking SLUT! When Jacob laid his shit brown eyes on me, he produced a grin showing off not only his piss-stained lookin a$$ teeth, but his extensive collection of oral herpes and canker sores. To be honest this sight turned me on to the MAAAAAAAX, but of course I wouldn't be letting Matty B obtain this information. It would break him more than Jacob would break his bones. Although I will be adding canker sores to my fetish journal, right below infanticide and necrophelia. Sexy. Jacob punched first yelling, "Sophie this one's for you! I love you! I love you more than the size of the universe, and even more than, dare I say, Lizzo". No one has ever said they love me this tremendously before. For a moment I second guessed whether I chose the right guy, but Matty was determined to prove his love for me. He whips out his laser nipple, #7 of course, and shoots Jacob in one of his eyeBALLS. This makes Jacob a n g e r e y. Jacob stampedes on all fours directly at Matty B. I can tell that Matty has no chance at an escape of this treacherous fight. Matty yelps in pain, sounding like it was indeed somewhat pleasurable, as the rabid Jacob bites off Matty's 14th nipple. "Whos Saggytitties now, huh?", he opera sings. Matty reaches for Jacobs throat, attempting to suffocate him, but Jacob only deep throats two of Matty's fingers. He proceeds to C H O M P them off and swallow them whole. "THAT WAS MY WANKING HAND!", Matty exclaims. I told Matty he needs to surrender before his 2 incher gets bitten off aswell. Only I have that right smh my head. I drive Matty back home as Jacob watches him bleed. Jacob throws me a kiss, but I throw it back. Like literally, I throw my ass in a circle. I can't believe what Jacob had done to my poor Matty! He had disfigured him! Now all Matty B will rap about are his bandz and his disability sticker. Matty gives me the addy to his crib, and I feel butterflies inside me, literally, I shoved them up my vagina last week. I am finally going to see the home of the man I may one day call my baby daddy.
***
   We arrive, Matty crawling aggressively to the bathroom leaving me on my own. I sit in Matty B's mansion as I endure his predatory bathing sounds coming from the wash room. He mustn't realize how thin his walls are, or maybe he left the door open on purpose, that sly little minx! "Sophie", he cries in a traditional Indian Congo Peacock mating call. I handstand walk into the bathroom, whilst being careful not to drown in the immense pools of blood which had poured out of the leg where Matty's 14th nipple used to be. "What can I do for you master?", I squawk at him with cheez-it like lust protruding from my eyeBALLS. I blush and my ears turn a bright shade of chartreuse as I notice the shower curtain rise 2 inches where Matty B's general groin area was displaced. He beckons me forward with his remaining three fingers. I gasp in shock saying, "Matty B Raps! Oh me goodness! How scandalous! I can't!" He penetrates my eyeBALLS with a death glare and speaks, "Sophie, I would like for you to join me inside of this here shower and aid me with my hefty beef jerky stick". I blush profusely, so profusely that I shart myself. I cannot strip IN FRONT OF MATTY B RAPS. He will never see me the same. He won't want to look at me. He will be disgusted, appalled!! How will he react, OH GOLLY! I cannot show Matty B my...my...my...my penis...