You are not alone

Chapter 1

"Schools will be resuming on Monday. Do you think you can attend or you'll like to take the first week off?"

"I don't know," I replied because I really did not know.

"What about you, Ben?" Dad inquired.

Ben looked at dad with the same look of disapproval that has been etched on his face ever since mum died. He tore his eyes away from dad and stared blankly at the wall. I saw the hurt on dad's face but there was nothing I could do.

We were all handling mum's death differently. Ben blamed dad for her death and became distant from the entire world. He'd always been the stubborn one.

He changed; not in a good way,  unfortunately.

Mum had been the only thing holding us together as a family and losing her caused a big blow to all of us, especially Ben.

Dad, unlike mum was never emotionally available. Finacially, maybe but with his children, he never spent his time at home, breaking the family even further. He didn't know our likes and dislikes. He barely even remembers our birthdays.

Mum was the only who really knew us. Ben once said that dad was just there for financial support. I know he is right although I never said that to any of them.

Now mum is gone,  all what she had known will go down in flames. We'd all have to learn to live without here but I'm concerned about Ben.

It's painful understanding she's not going to be here to tell us we'll be okay. I wish she could tell dad and Ben that more because their relationship is being held together by a thin thread: blood.

The sound of a door being thrown open drew me out of my thoughts. I looked at dad and the empty spot beside me. I didn't need anyone to tell me what just happened. Ben had walked out on dad.

Again...

This was becoming a daily affair and in no time, Ben and dad will be nothing but strangers if this continues.

I strolled over to where dad sat and patted his hand as a show of support. Unfortunately, he didn't want it.  Instead, dad gently removed my hand from his. Dad was never one to openly display affection, even when she was here.

"I'll be in my room," I informed him but he didn't seem bothered.

I looked at him and sighed when I saw the look on his face. He was oblivious to everything. Even to the fact it was all fading away.

I guess it's everyone for himself.

‘Handle the grief individually’ seems to be the new plan.

I averted my gaze and made my way up the stairs to my room. I shut the door behind me and threw myself on the bed.

My eyes focused on the ceiling, I gagged on one word: school.

I don't want to think of how they'll treat me. The thought of segregation sickened me to my core .

I ran a hand through my hair, sat up, realising I didn't want to go to school on Monday. I didn't want their sympathy... I really don't want it at all.

Postponing school won't take the awkwardness away neither will it take away the reality with it.

I know I won't and not the first one to go through this. If pep talks don't work now then, they'll never work at all.

It will be fine, Celeste. It'll be okay. The world won't end because...

What am I doing?

        

Tanx for reading🙏🙏
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