You are not alone

Chapter 12

I didn't know what to say in response to that so I just nodded.

"Brought your lunch?" She asked motioning to my lunch bag which was slung across my shoulders.

"Yes."

I took a seat across from her and proceeded to bring out my lunch.

" Telling you to bring your lunch your here was a good idea.  Not so?"

" It's convenient but I still feel bad because it seems inappropriate."

" Trust me it's very appropriate. The principal gave me the go ahead to conduct my sessions as I see fit." She finished with a smile.

I brought out my pink food flask and took off the lid . The smell of the jollof rice and fried fish drifted around in the office. Dad had made the rice while I'd assisted in frying the fish.

" Hmmm. Smells good." Miss Aboh remarked with a smile." Do you know the real reason behind me asking you to eat your lunch here?"

" To save time?"

" No. I want you to be free with me . More open." She added in a soft tone." I want you to talk to me."

I ate slowly and pondered on what she was saying. The office was quiet except for the sound of the apple she'd started munching on. I wanted to invite her to eat with me but I didn't know how she would take it so I said nothing and continued to eat my food.

" I didn't see you at the morning assembly. Did something happen?"

There are lots of student at our school , she doesn't think she can easily notice the absence of a few students at the morning assembly,does she? I thought to myself but out loud I said , " I came in late . I lost track of time."

" Have you tried praying by yourself ?"

That was the question I least expected at that moment. I shook my head slowly in response and looked up to see her smiling. Why's she always smiling? I wondered.

I finished eating, put away my lunch bag and slowly sipped  my water. I sat up straight and slipped the water bottle into my lunch bag.I looked up and was startled to see her staring straight at me. I shifted nervously and looked away .

" I just don't feel like it actually works ." The words were out of my mouth before I knew it. I continued anyway , " I mean it doesn't make any sense to be talking to someone you can't even see ."

" Faith, Celeste ". When she saw the confused look on my face she explained . " Believe. That's what Christianity is all about . You can't exactly see him but you have the conviction in your heart that he's there. "

It still didn't make much sense to me though. This  same thing that doesn't make sense to me now was exactly what I did when the doctors pried us away from Mom's room that faithful day. I remember vividly . Ben's cry of agony , the shaken look on Dad's face as he leaned against the wall dejectedly . It was at that moment I remembered that Mom used to say that at dire moments people usually did what ordinarily they wouldn't dream of doing . That was exactly what I did that day . I prayed.

Of course , I consider myself a Christian because I go to church every Sunday with Mom, but that was it. I never really understood people who stayed up for hours praying nonstop. Mom used to pray sometimes too but that was where it ended.

On the days that followed after Mom's death, I began to question if people weren't really crazy for praying to someone who doesn't listen. I prayed and begged Him to keep Mom alive for me. I even promised to become a better child and stop complaining on Sunday mornings when Mom wakes me for church.

It was all for nothing though because Mom died. I begged God to save her but he didn't .

" It may sometimes seem like it is not working, but I assure you that it works. Prayer works."

" Well, it didn't work for me when I tried it."

                    ******

" You're going to get us into trouble."  Bernard snarled at me.

"I didn't ask you to come with me . You followed me even when I told you not to ." I replied with a shrug. " It's not my fault."

" What are you going to say if he catches us?"

" He won't catch us. We just have to be careful. Can you see anything ?"

He shook his head and peered again inside the building . I held him back by the shoulder as he was about to take another and asked ," Are you sure you want to do this?"

He slowly pried my hands away and said , " You won't last one second if I'm not here."

I smiled and continued to walk after him . I still couldn't shake off the feeling of dread I felt at the thought of getting caught. When I made the decision a few minutes ago I was so sure of what I was doing but now that I'm actually doing it , I'm not so sure.

We'd just come back from school and we're having lunch when Ben got a call. He took one look at me and left the dinning for the living room. I strained my ears to hear what he was saying but I couldn't hear much . I gave up and decided that this is the day I'll find out what Ben is up to.

Immediately he closed the front door behind him , I ran up to my room , got out a blue hoodie and wore it over my blue jeans skirt. I decided against putting on black  because it'll make me look suspicious. Keeping a few places between us, I kept my eyes trained on Ben  as he  walked on. I looked up just as someone appeared in front of me .

"Hey. Where to?" Bernard had asked.

" Somewhere . Please move." He refused to budge  and I had no choice but to  tell  him what I was up to  .

" You know it's probably nothing , right?"

" 'Probably' , you said , meaning it's not certain. I want to be sure."

" If you're suspicions are confirmed, what are you going to do ."

I had no response for that. The thought hadn't even crossed my mind. I think deep down I was hoping my suspicions were as a result of paranoia  and that Ben was just meeting his friends. My heart sank at the possibility that Ben could be in real trouble.

" You didn't think of that did you?" He asked with a sigh.

Nope, I did not, I thought to myself. Out loud I said , " What do you expect me to do ? What if my brother is really in trouble?" My voice had become shaky and I was on the verge of tears when he spoke.

" I'll go with you. Don't argue. I've already decided ."

" What if you get into trouble because of me ?" I voiced with concern.

" It's a normal occurrence for me . Besides, it's not  fun to get into trouble alone. It's better with company." He said with a smile.

" Let's go ." He grabbed my hand and pulled me behind me .

Now , we'd seen him enter a building and were foolishly walking right inside with nothing but a hunch I have. Bernard was right. I really should have given this more thought.

A/N: Tanx for reading .

***Ekwaadoo