You are not alone

Chapter 4

"Mr. Harold ...?" . We all turned our heads at the same time towards the doctor who just spoke.

"That's me "  ,Dad replied standing up.

"Can I see you in my office"

"Certainly", Dad said and turned to us ,"Wait here . I'll be back".
"I'm coming with you",Ben said standing up .

Dad looked like he wanted to say something but thought better of it and nodded. I , as usual followed closely behind them as we entered the doctor's office. On a normal day, I would've taken time to observe the interior design of the office but I couldn't do that because it wasn't a normal day. We all took our seats and fastened our eyes on the doctor.

   He cleared his throat and started , " After conducting series of tests we came up with a result " ,  he handed a paper to Dad .I peered in to take a look at what was written on it and gave up when I couldn't understand a thing.

He continued " According to the diagnosis carried out on your wife , she has a serious case of breast cancer and brain tumour. The very last stage".

    From there on , I zoned out . Everything became vague and the only words that kept ringing in my head were breast cancer. Brain tumour. Last stage .

     
     I vaguely remember Dad leading Ben and I out of the hospital while Dad spoke to the doctor , promising to come visit Mom the next day.

      The drive home was quiet as everyone seemed to be lost in their own thoughts. On getting home , I threw myself on the bed and cried. I cried till I could no longer produce any tears.i cried till my eyes became puffy and heavy . I cried till sleep took over.

        The days that followed were trying and challenging  for all of us . Ben shut everyone out and made the hospital his second home. I threw myself into rigorous study and research about discoveries and proposed cure for breast cancer and brain tumour. Dad became more absent than usual , attending meetings , signing important deals and whatever excuse he could come up with . It was as if he didn't want to be reminded of the fact that if Mom is not there , he is the next best thing.

     I felt like I was going to explode anytime soon because of the swirling emotions that I tried to bury . I have never been someone who opened up to people. No one ever knew what was wrong with me except I tell them. I was a master at suppressing emotions.

         Suppressing my emotions didn't change what I felt. It didn't make me feel any better but it was better than trying to explain to someone how I felt. I was terrible at self expression. I was just the quiet , shy and introverted kid.

       Mom's condition continued to deteriorate with every passing day. I could never stop the tears that spilled whenever I visited her. She didn't look like she would get better anytime soon or ever again. There was nothing  the doctors could do. Mom died within two months of her stay at the hospital.

        I still remember the day she died. Its a very vivid image that will never be erased from my memory. I remember the quiet drive to the hospital. I remember the sombre look the nurses gave us when we told them we had come  to visit Mom.

      "How's school? ", Mom inquired after we had settled down into her ward. I noticed that the beds belonging to the two other patients who shared the room with Mom were  vacant. I didn't ask Mom where they we're because I wasn't sure if I wanted to know.

      "School's fyn, Mom. How are you feeling?", Ben asked before I could give Mom an answer .

        Mom smiled weakly and said "I'm feeling alright".