Renesme's Dream

Renesme's Dream (Aka Life with Renesme) Chapter 19

I ran as fast as I could. I needed to get away, to clear my head. I had never left my daughter like that before, but I had to. I needed to scream and I didn’t  want to scare her. I ran for about 50 miles, then stopped. I was in the middle of nowhere, no human scents anywhere around me. I dug deep inside of myself, collecting all the emotions I had felt when I saw him die, and screamed at the top of my lungs. I screamed until my throat was hoarse.

I fell to the ground, my body jerking with dry sobs. The first vision was bad enough, but this one….seeing Edward killed in almost slow motion like that, seeing the life drain from his eyes, had been too much.

I had faced the possibility of loosing him before, but never like this. My husband, AND my daughter? No. The thought was just too mush to bear. I lay on the ground, shaking. I wanted to cry. I NEEDED to cry so freaking much it almost hurt…….

I couldn’t face life without Edward. There was no point. We were two halves to a whole, without one half, what is the other’s purpose? It has none. My only other purpose would be Renesmee, but if she were gone too…..

I lay there for what seemed like hours, but was really only minutes.

I felt someone near me and sprang up automatically.

“W-who’s there?” I asked shakily. I feared it was Max, if it were he would hear me easily.

“It’s me, love. Don’t panic.” Edward ran into the patch of trees where I was standing. “What’s the matter Bella? Why did you run away?” He came over to me and placed both hands on either side of my face.

“Edward….” I whispered. “Seeing you like that….”

“I know,” He whispered shakily. “I know. I haven’t cried since I thought you were going to die from having Renesmee. But I did on the way after you.”

“Really? I’ve never seen you cry.”

“Why wouldn’t I? Bella if I saw you die, why wouldn’t I cry?”

I shrugged. I felt the phantom tears coming again and I leaped into his arms, sobbing.

I felt his arms encircle me, shaking with his own sobs.

“What are we going to do?” I asked.

“I don’t know love….” He pulled back and looked at me, stroking my face lightly with his fingers. “I don’t know. The pack will help us, but if he catches us by surprise…..we won’t have a chance.”

He starred at me for a long moment, then his eyes flashed and he kissed me, picking me up into his arms.

I don’t know how long we were out there, I just knew I may not have much time left with him. Nothing else seemed to matter, just him. All thoughts of Max and Ben, dying, loosing each other and our daughter and family, all of those thoughts were shut far back in my mind. All that mattered was Edward.

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“We should head back.” He said softly. “We left them all there, they have no idea where we are.”

“Oh god…” I said. “Renesmee! How could I just leave her like that?!” I covered my face with my hands. We were lying on the forest floor, watching the stars together. He rolled onto his side and propped up on his elbow.

“Bella! Hun you know you’re a terrific mother, you were made to be a mother. So you needed a few minutes to yourself after a traumatic incident, anyone would need that. Don’t blame yourself.” He leaned down and kissed me again.

I growled softly and he stopped. “What?”

”You’re making it even harder to go back. Stop it.” He smiled. “If we didn’t have Renesmee, I’d make it impossible….” He grinned and kissed my cheek. “Come on love, we’d better run back.” He jumped up and offered me a hand. I accepted it and sprang up, aiming myself at him and knocking him to the ground.

“Ooof!” He said as I landed on him.

“Oh please, like I would knock the air out of you.” I teased.

Being with him along under the stars made me feel like a teenager again. Ok so I was still a teenager, but it made me feel like I had only known him a year, not 52 years.

I leaned down to kiss him, he didn’t even try to protest.

After a moment I sighed and broke the kiss.

“What’s wrong?” He asked as I got up.

“We have a daughter, remember? A daughter who just has a horrific vision of her parents getting killed and we left her there?”

He sighed. “Race you back?”

I didn’t even bother agreeing, I just took off. I looked up at the stars for a moment as I ran. Getting away like this, with him, is just what I had needed. My head was definitely cleared, and I was ready to tackle the problem and make plans to protect my family.