I need to tell him.
I don't know how.
What if he hates me?
What if he leaves?
I haven't seen Grayson since the funeral which was two weeks ago. Ever since then, I haven't left my bedroom. I only get out of bed to go to the bathroom and to eat some of the food that my aunt and uncle's maid brings me.
Yes, they have a maid. Two actually.
Funny part about all of this is that even with all of this wealth, it will still never fill the giant hole in my heart.
Funny, right?
Today's the day that I'm going to tell Grayson. He is coming over around 2:00.
It's 1:45 right now.
I'm staring at my ceiling with my hand on my stomach. Even though there isn't a bump yet, I still always find my hand laying over it without noticing.
My aunt and uncle already know about the baby. They aren't mad. But they also aren't very happy about it. They said they will do everything they can to help me.
Although my Aunt Shelly is pretty disappointed in me, she has surprisingly shown very clear excitement about a baby on the way.
I, on the other hand, am not excited at all.
I'm terrified.
Ding dong. The doorbell echoes through the large house.
WHAT?! I look over at the clock and see it's 1:50. HE'S EARLY!
Oh god, I'm not ready. What do I do?! What do I say?! I run to the large mirror in my room and make sure I look decent. My eyes are a light pink from exhaustion and, you guessed it, crying.
I quickly walk as fast as I can with a boot on my sprained ankle. When I reach the bottom of the steps, Grayson is already inside.
I'm at a loss for words. How do I talk? What are words?
"Hey baby." He brings me in a tight hug.
"Uh, eh- hi." My speech stumbles.
"You alright? You're all tensed up." He asks with a little chuckle.
"I- yeah. I just.." I take a deep breath. "Follow me." I take him by the hand and bring him upstairs to my room.
I shut my bedroom door behind me and I take a deep breath.
The nerves are kicking in.
My heart is beating out of my chest.
"What's going on babe?" He walks over to hold my hand, but I cross my arms and look down.
"There's something I need to tell you. Something the doctor told me when he told you to leave the room.." I say quietly.
"What is it? You can tell me anything." He responds in a soft voice.
Tears start to blur my vision and I refuse to look Grayson in the eyes.
"I don't want you to hate me." My voice breaks and a sob escapes from my mouth.
"Tia, I would never hate you. Don't ever think like that.. okay? Tell me what it is, I'm sure it will be okay.." He soothes me.
And I believe him.
"You promise?" I look up at him.
"I promise." He smiles.
I sit on my bed and look down at my hands. Grayson sits next to me and rubs my back in slow circles.
"Okay.." I take a deep breath. "Grayson, I'm-" I pause.
"You're what, baby?" His voice sounding concerned.
"I'm pregnant.." I say quietly, not daring to look him in the eyes.
"What?" I feel him stand up from the bed.
"I'm a month along now.."
"What?!" His voice rises.
"I'm sorry I didn't tell you earlier, I was just scared-"
"I don't care, Tia! You're pregnant?! Do you know how much this could mess up my life?!" He yells.
"W-what?" I look up at him in shock.
"This is fucking bullshit!" He runs his fingers through his hair in frustration.
"Bullshit?! What is? Your baby that's inside of me?!" I stand up, yelling back at Grayson.
"Why could you let this happen to me?!" He points at himself as his voice booms through the room.
"ME?! How could I do this to you? Don't know if you knew this but it takes TWO PEOPLE to create another human being you, ASSHOLE!" I pick up a pillow from my bed and throw it at his chest.
"I HAVE A REPUTATION TIA!"
"IS THAT ALL THAT MATTERS TO YOU?!" I yell at the top of my lungs.
"WELL I WASN'T EXPECTING YOU TO FUCK UP MY LIFE!" He screams at me. As soon as he says that, there is instant regret shown in his face.
I stand there in shock. I swear, I could hear my heart shatter into a million pieces. I feel a flame of anger in my heart, and I say something I know I'll regret later.
"Leave." I point to the door.
"What?" He asks in shock.
"Leave."
"Tia, I didn't mean it-"
"DO YOU NEED ME TO ASSIST YOU OUT THE DOOR, YOU FUCKING IDIOT?!" I whip the door open. "LEAVE!" I yell and push him out the door.
One of the maids hurries to my room and looks directly at Grayson. "You need to leave." She says.
"Tia, I'm sorry-" His voice full of regret.
"Goodbye." I shut my bedroom door.
I slide my back down the door as tears roll down my cheeks like rivers. I hug my knees close to my chest and I sob.
I trusted him.
I put my hands on my stomach and I take a deep a deep breath.
"We can make it through this together, okay little bean?" I whisper.
"I'll never leave you." I smile through my tears.
