"Okay, I have Toby's clothes, some of his picture books, his pull-up diapers, his snacks, his juice, his toiletries, and his monkey." I list off all of Toby's items that I packed. Toby can never sleep without his monkey doll, so we are bringing it with us.
"Do you think that's enough?" I add.
"Bitch, you still need to pack your own bag." Andrew says, sitting on the countertop in the kitchen.
"Alright, fine. And stop swearing when Toby is around." I glare and walk away to pack my bag.
I start throwing all of my clothes into a suitcase, just absolutely dreading going to Los Angeles.
It's going to bring back so many memories.
And not the good ones.
It's about 3:00 a.m. and it's Monday. So we should make it to L.A. at around 8:00 a.m.
Once I have my bag packed, I sneak into my sons room and gently lift him out of his bed and hold his sleeping body.
"Momma, are we going on vacacashon?" Toby asks tiredly.
"Yes, sweetie, we're going on vacation." I smile. "Now go back to sleep." I whisper and kiss his head.
"I love you mommy." He says before falling back to sleep.
"I love you more than you'll ever know." I whisper into his hair.
"Oh my god that's so cute." Andrew says quietly while covering his mouth.
"Shh. Let's go." I smile.
We grab our luggage, lock up the apartment, and we get into my tiny car. I buckle sleeping Toby into his car seat, covering him with a blanket and setting his monkey next to him.
"I swear to god, that monkey is like a billion years old." Andrew makes fun of Toby's doll.
"It's because my mom gave it to me when I was born. So I gave it to him." I turn around in the passenger seat and make sure Toby is okay.
"Alright, lets go bitch." Andrew starts the car.
"Shh!" I push his shoulder, trying to hold back a laugh.
I lay back in my chair and close my eyes.
• • •
My mom begins to drive without putting her seatbelt on. She zooms down the road, clearly angry.
The sky is dark and all we can see are the street lights lit up in the sides of the road. The car ride is silent and Kenzie is still in her deep sleep.
We start to approach a dark intersection. I rest my head against my window and sigh.
I'm about to shut my eyes, but a set of bright headlights appeared in front of our car!
"MOM, WATCH OUT-"
• • •
I sit up in my seat and I gasp, my heart pounding out of my chest.
I immediately turn my gaze to Toby.
He's still sleeping peacefully in his car seat.
"Dude, you alright?" Andrew asks. "I hit a speed bump, I didn't mean to scare you."
"No, no, it's fine. Just a bad dream." I put my hands over my face, trying to calm myself down.
"Do you want me to pull over for a bit? We're almost there."
"No, it's okay. Wait- we're already almost there?" I look up surprised.
"Yeah, just about another hour. You slept through the whole thing." He laughs.
"I can drive for a bit if you want. You should get some rest." I offer.
"Okay mother." He teases.
I roll my eyes playfully as he pulls over the car.
As soon as we swapped places, he fell dead asleep in the passenger seat.
• • •
[DAY ONE OF VACATION]
Welcome To Los Angeles
I read a large sign over the road. Memories immediately start to flood my brain. So many good memories, but so many horrible ones.
And then the anxiety kicks in.
"Momma, are we there yet?" Toby's voice calms me and rips me away from my thoughts.
"Yep, we're here honey." I yawn.
"YAAAYYY!" Toby squeals. Andrew nearly jumps out of his seat from being startled. Toby's scream tore him from his sleep.
"Holy sh.. Oh hey we made it!" Andrew yells.
"Watch your langua- ooaoaouuh." I yawn again.
"Bless you, momma."
"Toby, you only say bless you when someone sneezes." Andrew says to my son.
"He can bless who he wants." I say jokingly.
"Facts." Andrew rests his feet on the dashboard.
We drove to our hotel, which was HUGE by the way. I don't know how Andrew could afford it. But I'll take it.
We make it to our hotel room and Toby immediately starts running around the room squealing. Andrew plops down onto one of the beds and falls asleep. Again.
"Toby, wanna go get some snacks?" I ask with a smirk.
"Yeah!" He jumps up and down in excitement.
This kid gets excited about the smallest things. I wish I could feel that. But his smile is enough to give me energy to live through the day.
"Let's go." I take him by the hand and we walk out of the room and down the halls of the giant hotel.
We search around the hotel, looking for the vending machines. I finally find a sign that points in the direction of the vending machines.
I turn a corner and I freeze.
A tall man with dark brown hair standing in front of the machines. My heart starts to race. There's no way...
I try to make myself turn around, but I'm completely frozen. The man turns around, and my heart rate calms down. It's not.. him. Thank god.
We get our snacks and make our way back to the room. When I open up the door, I see Andrew waking up.
"Where'd you guys go?"
"SNACKS!" Toby yells, laying on the bed next to Andrew's and opens up his tiny bag of chips. Andrew tries to reach over and take a chip from the bag, but Toby slaps his hand.
"Toby, be a good boy and share a chip." I sit down on a small couch and run my fingers through my hair.
Toby does as I say and hands Andrew the smallest chip in the bag.
"Wow, thanks." Andrew says sarcastically to Toby which makes him laugh. I let out a loud sigh and I close my eyes.
"You good?" Andrew asks me.
"Huh? Yeah. Just tired." I lie.
I hear Toby's little foot steps make their way over to me. When I see him, he's holding his blanket and monkey.
"Here mommy. You tired. Go sleep." Toby puts the blanket and monkey in my lap.
I hold Toby in my arms and kiss him on the cheek. "Thank you baby. I love you."
"I wove you momma, but I want to eat chips." He gives me a little kiss on my cheek and runs back to the bed to eat his chips.
"Savage." Andrew says with a laugh.
Reminds me of someone I know, I think to myself.
