Bloodlust

chapter fourteen

-14-

I run desperately through the forest, branches whipping and catching on my jeans and sweatshirt. The wet leaves on the forest floor quickly soak my feet through my converse. Rain is hitting me in thick drops that fall heavily from the bleak, gray sky. The forest around me is a blur of dark green and brown, darkening quickly. I don’t even bother to look behind me as I make a sharp turn that will probably get me further into the forest. I know I’m being followed. I don’t care about anything right now. Either way it’s over.

 They say you can’t run from your problems and I know this isn’t a problem I can run from. I can try though. I want to keep up hope even though all the hope I’ve kept over the past few weeks has been stomped on mercilessly. I stop and lean against a tree; water runs down my back soaking me even more and I try to catch my breath. I look around for anyone in here other than me and see nothing. I run my hand through my hair, moving it out of my face and causing water to drip down my neck. I shiver as the cool water travels down my spine. I slide down the tree, the material of my sweatshirt bunching and catching on the bark. The only sounds I can hear are my ragged breathing and the rain.

Running away was pointless, but only choice was to run. To run away knowing I’d get caught sooner or later. I’d rather run away than sit there, like a sheep waiting for slaughter. At least I can say that I ran. I can say that I tried to escape.

 I’m just a burden to James. I’m an obligation to him now; he has to do something about me because I can’t be normal now, or at least go back to the way I was living. I wasn’t normal before I met James, but I was close enough. I’m a burden to everyone, they either end up figuring out one of my problems or they get stuck with me. I wish I could be beneficial to someone, and less of a pain.

 As the light in the forest fades and submits slowly into darkness, I know my last moments of peace- no, my last moments of freedom and life, along with my last moments of silence, are dwindling. My heart finally slows down and my breath finally calms like the peace before the storm. I can’t believe this is happening. I can’t believe how calm I am right now. My life is about to end.

I take a deep breath and I let the bliss surround me. The sounds of the rain in the forest are a little calming and the dark greens and browns are beautiful. I never thought I’d be able to appreciate something like this. The world is beautiful right now. Everything around me is perfect. I’m the only flaw. I stand out against the nature. It would make a beautiful picture. Me, in this beautiful forest, standing out like a sore thumb, making the forest look even more immaculate.

  If I had been able to live normally and not met James I would have had a chance. I thought I was hopeless. I thought I would never amount to anything. I never knew what I wanted to do and I never planned on finding out. But now, as I sit here, about to die, I realize that I could have been something.

  Time seems to stop as James appears before me, a smirk on his face. He saunters towards me as his smirk widens to a sickening grin, eyes showing no mercy.

“It’s time for you to stop running,” he says, his silky voice sliding over me like a thick blanket, trying to trap me in a daze. I’m frozen, but not trapped. I’m frozen in fear, unable to move. As much as I want to wrap the soothing blanket of his attempt at mind control around me, I refuse to accept it. I want to be perfectly aware of my surroundings and my feelings as he kills me.

“No,” I plead weakly as he’s upon me, pinning me to the ground, teeth sinking easily into my neck. He doesn’t even bother with the kissing. He doesn’t have to worry about me trying to run or scream. He won’t get caught. He just dives right in. Waves of pleasure and pain rip through me, so intense they feel like they’re trying to tear me to shreds. I feel like I’m being pulled in all different directions and forced together at the same time. I can feel as my mind rocks unsteadily back and forth from being disoriented and being fully aware of where James is.

My limbs start to tingle like there’s an electric current running through them. The tingle is more painful then pleasurable. Everything is fading around me as my blood is drained slowly from my body. The waves of pleasure abruptly stop, just leaving pain, tearing at my heart and my being. The pain is making every thought, every breath and every beat of my heart agonizing and it increases with every second. My skin feels like it’s on fire and my bones and muscles feel like they’re being corroded by pure acid.

  I panic as my lungs refuse to take in air and the rest of my body follows in refusal to function. I’m aware that James is no longer sucking my blood but he’s still there. He’s not leaving me to die. If he were leaving me to die he would have left by now. The pain grabs onto my mind again, begging to be my only focus. I’ve never felt this much pain before. I want to force my body to do something. I want to take air in my lungs so I can prove that I’m still alive, that I’m still human. I try to move my mouth and form words but my body seems to have forgotten what the command means and not even guttural noises come out; my mouth doesn’t move and my vocal cords are silent. I try to force anything to work; but nothing in my body cooperates.

  My heart feels like it’s the only thing keeping me alive, beating erratically and loudly in my chest like a drum. Even though everything isn’t working I’m aware of the relentless pain; I’m aware of everything around me. I know my body is convulsing on the wet ground and that he’s watching me in silence, his face devoid of emotion.

The pain stops abruptly; the absence of pain isn’t reassuring. It’s frightening. I close my eyes and I beg my mind to fade away. I beg the black to cloud my vision. I beg death to overtake me. Hope is useless though.

My heart stops.

A monster awakens.