Every time.

I just miss him

Kara's pov

I wanted to spend every hour of every day near him, but now that seems impossible, I stand for hope and I've lost it all, I just feel completely empty...broken.

I didn't know he meant everything to me until he was gone. I should have told him I loved him sooner, but I was just terrified...I was worried that after I'd say it that he'd just leave...and after losing my planet...after losing my family...I was too scared to accept the fact that he could stay...which I guess in my case didn't happen.

And the worst part is I've heard him say it to me multiple times before, First it was when he confessed to being the former prince of daxam and at the time I only thought he said it because he was scared of losing me...losing us. Than he said it again one night when we were sitting on the couch just chatting about our day and he made a joke about a strange alien that he met at the bar, and like all his jokes this one managed to make me laugh so hard (that if you heard me you'd probably think I was a maniac) and than he said it again "I love you" as soon as I heard him say that my laughter died down, and I suddenly looked down at the floor like it was the most interesting thing I'd ever laid my eyes on...he said it another time one mourning, and at the time it was too bright to open my eyes so I kept them shut and he must have thought I was asleep because he'd spent the past five minutes caressing my hair,  and than I heard him mumble quietly "You might be the kryptonian in this relationship...but you Kara Zor-el are my kryptonite....I love you."

Not telling him I loved him too, is hands down the biggest mistake I've ever made, and I'd do anything to fix it but-

I get interrupted from my thoughts when I hear a knock on the door "It's open!" I yell from the living room.

"Hey Kara." says Alex.

"Hey...what are you doing here?"

"Well..I um...I brought potstickers and I was wondering if we could just...hangout and watch a movie like we used to." Alex says with a hopeful smile on her face.

"I don't....I don't think that's a good idea" I say while looking down at the floor.

"Of course you don't..." she says as she drops the bag of potstickers on the kitchen counter and heads out the door.

"Alex wait" I say before she closes the door.

Alex is now turned around waiting for me to say something...anything.

"I know I've been blowing you off and...I'm sorry, I just-I just don't feel like myself anymore...because he's gone...and I just miss him so much...I-I miss the the way he used to whisper hilarious jokes in my ear....I miss his laugh...I miss his eyes....I miss the way he used to tuck my hair behind my ear...I miss waking up next to him...I miss all of it...Alex, he was the best thing I never knew I needed...and the fact that I'll never be able to see him again just-it just hurts...I loved him so much Alex...more than words could ever explain, and I only told him I loved him once...and I'll never be able to tell him again because... I don't think he's never coming back" I say in a somber, tearful voice, as my voice begins to crack.

"Hey, come here" Alex says, as she makes her way over to me to pull me into a hug.

"We all lost him that day...and I know my pain could never compare to yours, but that doesn't mean it doesn't hurt...I miss him too, we all do, but we can't give up hope, he'd want you to keep hoping...so just keep hoping, okay?" She says pulling away to wipe the tears on my face.

"Okay" I say feeling slightly better.

"I love you Kara" she says as she pulls me into another hug.

"I love you too...always." I say pulling away.

"So which movie did you wanna watch?..."I ask sniffling a-bit before giving her a shy smile.

"I was thinking....Terminator 2!" Alex says enthusiastically as she pulls the disk from out of her bag.

"Oh Rao not again" I say giving her a small chuckle as grabbing the potstickers off the counter.

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I'm back! 😊💛
I was so motivated to write a chapter last Sunday but than I saw the latest episode of supergirl and I lost every piece of motivation I had 😂 but now I got some back! I hope you guys like this chapter 🙃💖