Every time.

A promise to try.

                                 Kara's pov

Walking into an apartment you've lived in for years, and not being hit with that feeling of home when you walk in described what it was like closing the front door. The furniture was still there, a variety of different sized chairs and colorful lamps still lay about. But the feeling of warmth and comfort are no where to be found. And I can easily draw an conclusion as to why.

That homey that he brought whenever he walked through that front door is gone, but the scent of him still remains. The memories still remain. And I know soon I'll be wanting forget it all, just to keep a tether of sanity but for now a bath sounds nice.

Washing off the residue of dry tears is exactly what I want to do before Alex comes over for what she insist is just a check in but I know she'll end up spending the night and honestly this time around I'm okay with that.

With a heavy sigh I began to let my feet carry my tired body towards the direction of the bathroom. As I near my desired location I catch a glimpse of a letter on our—no wait, my neatly made bed. I run my fingers tips along the smooth paper. Ink covers every inch of it, as his handwriting sprawls out from every corner.

My stomach flips at the thought of reading it. I desperately want to, but at the same time the idea of it unnerving. After today it's safe to say I've run my course with emotional affairs. My heart is heavy with a feeling that's become so distant and forgotten. But yet something in me is telling me to read it, and I've learned on several unprecedented occasions to always trust my instincts even if I don't have the full picture. And since my intuition has never failed me just yet I grab at the paper, force my eyes to align with the first sentence and pry to Rao that I'll find a sense of serenity in doing this.

*

Words can't describe how sorry I am. You don't deserve this. Rao, no one deserves this, but especially not you.

Nothing could've prepared me for that look in your eyes when I told you. The unmistakable shock, the transparent hurt, which you were so quick to try and hide...I definitely deserved it though. I could spend a lifetime apologizing to you for this but since time is delicate I'd rather spend it more sensibly. I want to thank you. For not only letting me love you, but for loving me back. There's a million other guys you could've chosen to spend your valuable time with but you chose me. And for that I'm forever grateful.

Holding you was a pleasure I'll hold dear for the rest of my life. Hugging you was a sensation I'd never manage to forget. Waking up with you.....every little thing I've received from you out of love, I'll hold onto for an eternity.

This morning as I sat here dreading the moment you'd wake up, something thats crossed my mind every now and than hit me at full force. I got to fall in love with you not only once but twice—I mean how lucky a guy does that make me, really? Just like the first time I fell for your heart. Than your eyes onto your smile, your laugh—and so on and so forth. The act of falling for you something I can only describe as a peaceful plunge. Peaceful, because you made it incredibly easy to swoon over you. Plunge, because I've never been in love before—and frankly I'd never received it either. So trying this out was scary to say the least, but I knew it was worth it; I knew you were worth it.

You know I'm since my memories have returned completely I'm aware of somethings I couldn't have possibly imagined before today. And I'm also aware that you might know what I'm talking about.

It was a rash decision on my mind, but I don't regret a thing. I always knew that I wanted to spend an eternity waking up to your smile, so it didn't surprise me when I found myself wandering into a jewelry shop downtown. I had just received an unbelievably large tip at the bar, and what better way to spend all that money on a custom made ring? ....I wrapped it wanting to make you think that it was an early birthday present —since yours wasn't too far away—just in-case you ran upon it. And you did eventually...the wrapping paper was off so that's how I found out.