Every time.

A more peaceful wave.

                                  Kara's pov

He needs to go back.

I need to let him go.

I have to let him go.

Again.

His words hit me with a force stronger than all of the ones that have knocked me down physically. An instant pang of something much worse than sadness creeps into the depths of my heart, and overtakes me like a tidal wave. Tears brim at my eyelids but I don't let them fall. He doesn't need that right now. What he needs is comfort knowing that I understand. Because I do. I just wish I didn't have to.

Pulling him back into my arms, I let his tears dampen my shirt and the skin residing beneath the thin cloth, his muffled sobs continue to echo throughout the room, and I have to keep my bottom lip tucked in between my teeth in order to keep from doing the same, but I can't help but let silent tears fall down my face. As I cling onto him tightly, dreading the moment I have to let go.

After everything that's happened, after everything we've been through, we have to part ways once more. I have to deal with the heartbreak, the loneliness, the anger, the pain...all over again. Just after he remembered about wanting to marry me, wanting to spend the rest of his life with me, the universe is taking him away right before he even gets the chance to ask, which ultimately means I'll never get the chance to say yes.

******

Some point after the news was broken, and our tears began falling at a more steady pace. I was the first to pull away. Not looking him directly in the eyes as I leant forward to kiss him, with all the passion I could muster, which actually wasn't really hard to scrap up...it never was.

A reoccurring thought that I wish I could drown out comes over me. This
was probably going to be the last time that we—this was probably going to be the last time.

Bonding with Mon-El was something I could do in many ways, a look, a laugh, a simple conversation, a not so simple conversation, no conversation at all...sex. Sometimes when words could take us no further, and conversation weren't going to be enough to fix what seemed to be beyond repair. A more intimate option never failed to mend things. Mon-Els one of the most intimate people I know, and he doesn't just show it on a physical level. In the midst of something so overwhelming, he never feels to make me feel seen for all that I am, the good, the bad, and everything in between. With all my complications that are more than transparent when I'm unraveling under something as marvelous as his touch. But despite my faults he's never quick to judge. In fact he applauds them, always reminding me of how admirable they were, and how I shouldn't be ashamed of them. And at some point I've started to believe him.

I don't think he knows or reckons this but he had such a huge part in shaping me into the women I am today. As supergirl I've always been more outgoing and bold, but as Kara I've failed to show those valiant traits, and that's most definitely because I don't have a cape to hide behind during my regular day to day life.

But he's helped me realize that I shouldn't be dependent on a cape to show and demand the authority I deserve, because at the end of the day I'm Kara and she's just as important. And while I'm still processing that, Mon-El never shies away from reminding me.

Especially during an carnal exchange.

His eyes—overwhelmingly dilated eyes—, would always bore into mine with this look so intense that sometimes I'd have to revert to closing my eyes or even flipping us over to duck my head into his shoulder when it became too much. His hands always so gentle and never demanding. Roamed freely, taking their time to awaken senses I never knew existed, and cherishing everything his finger tips brushed against. His lips left marks on what was supposed to be impenetrable skin. They kissed away at tears, and numbed my own lips.