Every time.

I wasn't completely honest

Kara's pov

"It was...it was the women you loved"

"Oh shit I screwed up didn't I?!" I ask myself internalally, although I'm most certain that the answer is yes.

"...the-the women...I loved?..." Mon-el crocks out with tears barely clinging to the corner of his eyes.

"...yeah..." God, I feel horrible!....Although what I wasn't a technical lie...I am the one who gave him the necklace...and he has told me loved me on several occasions (by several occasions I mean mostly when he thought I wasn't listening, but little did he know...I was).

After a few moments of sitting in an unbearable silence, I decide it's probably best if I leave before I make things even worse than they already are, but as soon as get up to make me way out the door, Mon-els grip on my left hand tightens, causing me to turn my head back to face him, and when I do, I'm met with pleading and teary gray eyes.

"Stay...please" says Mon-el in a voice that tears my heart at the seams. I-I think I broke him.

"S-ure" I say stammering a bit as I make my way back on the bed.

"...wha-what was she like?..." Mon-el ask while moving his free hand up to face to wipe the tears that were now falling down his face.

I can't do this...I can't just sit here and lie to him anymore. "I've-I've gotta go" I say abruptly as I quickly stand up from the bed again.

"Wha-" Mon-el starts, but I quickly cut him off.

"I'm sorry, I-I can't do this" I say as I gently remove my hand from his grip, and as I do the warmth and comfort I felt while holding his hand, immediately went away.

"Kara?" Mon-el says, with noticeable confusion and hurt lingering in his voice.

"I'm-I'm so sorry" Is the last thing I manage say before I hurriedly, rushing out of his room and into the busy DEO hallway.

***

My eyes are so blurred with tears that I can't even see two feet in front of me, but that doesn't stop me from rushing away from Mon-els dorm room.

I'm in so serious need of fresh air right now, so I make my way to the DEO balcony. Usually this place clams me down, but it doesn't seem to be working any of its magic today.

I don't know how long I've been standing here but I'm brought back from my frantic thoughts when I feel a light tap on my shoulder, which instantly causes me to tense up.

"Hey...you've been up here for thirty minutes...I was starting to get worried about you" and to my surprise the voice doesn't belong to Mon-el, it belongs to Winn.

"Oh thank god" I say to myself before turning around to face him.

"I'm-I'm fine" I say trying to give him a reassuring smile, but like most of my close friends he manages to see right through me.

"You do know you're talking to me right?" Winn says while giving me a cheeky smile and moving to my side. "Come on...talk to me" Winn says nudging me to speak.

After considering my options (one of them being, get out of here as fast as possible) I take a shaky breath and start to tell him about what went down in the dorm room. "I screwed up, Winn...I screwed up really bad" I admit quietly, as I already began to feel tears rebuild in my eyes.