Ang liwanang galing sa bintana ang gumising saakin. I was about to move when I felt a heavy thing wrapped around my waist. I slowly move to face on the other side nang maramdaman ko ang sakit sa pagitan ng aking hita.
"Oh my God!" saka ko lang naalala ang nangyari kagabi. Unti unti akong humarap sa lalaking nakayakap saakin kahit na sumasakit ang bagay sa aking baba. Then my sight welcomed the handsome man sleeping beside me.
"Drystan." I softly whispered. Dahan dahan kong inangat ang kamay ko at hinaplos ang kanyang pisngi. I smiled sadly.
"You gave me both sad and happy memories." I said while holding my tears back. Thank you very much Drystan. The memories you gave, I will never regret it, especially what happened last night.
While I'm staring at his handsome face, nagpakita ang imahe nilang magkayakap ni Eumi. At doon lamang ako bumalik sa tamang huwisyo. Napabalikwas ako ng higa at agad ding dumaing nang naramdaman ko ang hindi ko maipaliwanag na sakit.
"Aray!" sigaw ko. Naramdaman ko naman ang pagbalikwas ng bangon ng lalaki sa tabi ko.
"Hey baby. What happened?" He asked me, worried. Tumingin naman ako sakanya.
Umiling ako ng ilang beses. "This is wrong Drystan. What happened to us is very wrong Drystan." I said. Nakita ko naman ang pagdaan ng kalungkutan sa mga mata niya pero agad niya ding binawi. Magsasalita na sana siya but I spoke before him.
"No, all of these. Lahat ng ito, mali! Meron si Eumi, Drystan!" I hestirecally said. Oo, ang dumi dumi ng tingin ko sa sarili ko. I gave my virginity to a man, that I love, but is owned by another woman.
"Y-you're thinking that what happened to us is a mistake?" He said, full of pain. Hindi ko naman siya matignan because my heart is screaming that he's wrong. I really treasure the moment we had last night.
"Yes! Lahat ng yo--"
"But we like each other." Usal niya. Punong puno ng hinanakit ang boses niya. Pinilit kong patibayin ang loob ko at tinitigan siya sa mata. Pain is written and can be seen all over his face.
"No. I love you." yan ang gusto kong sabihin sakanya but I can't. There's Eumi who really owned him. They love each other.
"You're wrong." Matigas kong saad sakanya. I love you Drystan. I really love you.
"W-what do you mean?" My heart is clenching in pain when I heard his pained voice. I'm sorry Drystan but this is for us too.
"I never loved you nor liked you." I said as I looked away. Nakita kong natigilan siya sa tabi ko.
I lied. I fully lied. I love Drystan, the first time I saw him. I admired him for my entire life. But the fact that he love Eumi and he is owned by him hurts me. Nothing hurts more than loving a person who is owned by someone else. Wala akong laman e. Eumi is his beloved, I'm just a girl who love him, who flirted with him, with no label and it hurts me so much.
"You lied to me." Nakita ko ang pag-angat ng kamay niya, marahil para punasan ang mga luha niya. I can hear his low sobs and it aches my heart.
"So as you." I said at kahit paika ika ay pinilit kong tumayo. The comforter is wrapped around my body.
"I never lied to you!" Napatigil ako sa papilay pilay na paglalakad nang marinig ko ang pagtaas ng boses niya. Nanatilu akong nakatayo noon ngunit hindi ako lumingon sakanya. Pumunta siya sa harap ko. He's now wearing his boxers and sleeves.
"I said I like you, that's damn true! I never said anything about Eumi because I know that you'll be jealous! I was very transparent to you because you told me that you want a man who will let you see his scars and all!" He shouted. Nasasaktan ako. Hindi man lang niya nahalata that I lied. Didn't he realize that I gave myself to him because I love him. You're so numb Drystan. You're so numb.
"Manhid ka." I said at tumingin sa mga mata niya. Nakita ko naman ang sarkastiko niyang ngiti.
"Wow! Ako pa ang manhid? Alair, you're the one who don't feel my efforts and my feelings for you. You never listened to me!" He exclaimed. His voice is filled with so much pain and anger.
"Yes. So get out of my way." Nahulog ang panga niya sa sinabi ko. I'm trying hard to pretend na matigas ako. That I don't care about him and it seems like he's falling to it.
"I can't believe this." He said saka umiling umiling then he held my two shoulders. "Baby, look at me, you're lying right? You like me, truly." He said, desperately.
"No. Leave. I never liked you." Ang mga katagang iyon nangagaling sa aking bibig ang nakapagbitaw sa kanyang mahigpit na pagkakahawakan sa aking balikat. Nakita ko ang pagbagsak ng kanyang mga kamay sa kanyang gilid kasama ng kanyang balikat.
"I want to say that I regret everything. But I can't. I just can't." A lone tear feel from his eyes when he finished saying those words. Tumalikod din siya saakin and wore his pants then left. At naiwan ako dito, physically and emotionally in pain.
Kahit na masakit ang buong katawan ko lalong lalo na sa pagitan ng hita ko. I managed to take care of myself, like what I do everyday.
"S-SIR, THIS IS MY RESIGNATION." That voice is the most familiar to me. The owner of that voice just broke my heart the day before yesterday and the scar is still here and will always be here.
I swallowed hard and stopped myself to beg for her not to go.
"Just put it here." I said referring to my table. Nakita ko naman ang papel na inilapag niya sa harapan ko. I let out a heavy sigh when I heard door closed.
Kinuha ko na ang resignation letter nya and about to tear it apart when I noticed that it's not printed. Immediately opened it and read what's written.
Drystan,
This is my form of resigning in your company and also to your life. First, I want to thank you for the past months of making my stay here full of happiness. Thank you for being true to me. I admit it, I am hurt and jealous knowing the fact that you will never replace Eumi in your heart. So if that's the truth, where am I? Nasaan ako? Am I an outcast in your system? You said you like me, but you said you love her, it hurts like hell because I love you Drystan but that love from me is not enough to outrun the love that you received from her. I will not keep this letter like what you did. I'm sorry for giving up. Since day one, I planned to take the sadness away from you by being your happiness but it just turned out that I'm hurting myself. Thank you for everything.
I love you Drystan. I will always love you.
Your forbidden happiness,
Alair
As soon as I finish reading her letter, I stood up immediately and ran after her.
"You're mine baby, always and forever."
YOU ARE READING
Drystan's Alair
RomanceI hate my name, my second name. I hate whenever I hear someone calls me with it but it describes me anyway, I'm a man living in a world full of sadness and sorrow. I hate it very much, until the day came someone made me realize how beautiful my name...
