Ren: A Collection of Kylo Ren One Shots

Half a World

Rey's eyes drifted across the barren landscape, her face prickled with sand from the breeze. If she stared long enough, she could almost imagine the desert planet she grew up on. 

But this was not Jakku. This would never be Jakku.

Where there would be an outpost-- the place she would bring scraps of ships for scraps of food-- were only faraway mountains. There were no scavengers here, no masters to please. This was Luke's home, and nostalgia filled her completely as she instead thought about the peaceful childhood he must have had.

Peaceful. It was a word that Rey hadn't know the full power of, and still didn't really. Even with the galaxy at a standstill, with the First and Final Order destroyed, she still couldn't consider herself at peace. She had tried, even going as far as to get drunk with Finn and Poe on the weekends, but no matter how much she wanted to move on from her past, she simply couldn't. Where she considered herself a Skywalker, the blood of Palpatine still ran through her veins and burned her. There was no escaping this reality.

A tear slid down her cheek as her hand went up to clench her chest. Though the truth of her lineage was hard to swallow, what hurt Rey more were the memories. The happy moments with Han and Chewie when she'd impressed them, her Jedi training lessons with Leia and Luke, the last images she could remember of... his face.

Maker, that memory alone could kill her.

She wanted to hate Ben Solo and his pointless sacrifice. She wanted to hate the last minute change of his heart, the stupid apology he made by exchanging his life for hers. He was right to finally pay for his atrocities by standing up to Palpatine, but it had come too late. He couldn't be forgiven, not by any rebel or any one of their corpses rotting on the battlefield. Ben couldn't have come back with her. He was never meant to survive.

Rey still loved him.

Fresh tears drew from the corners of her eyes, leaving behind dirty trails along her face. As her arms wrapped around her small body, she bowed her head to her chest. Another gust of wind blew up more sand, stinging her eyelids as they closed.

"Stay with me," she pleaded quietly, shivering in the cool desert night.

***

A/N: I wanted to do a short "canon" epilogue ending for TROS, as bad as it was. Like what were the filmmakers thinking?? This is fucking depressing.

Anyways, here is a short verse that reminded me a lot about Rey and Ben ):

"You're half a world away standing next to me.

It seems that everyday, I'm losing you almost invisibly.

Though you are near, I can't reach that far across to where you are.

And so you stay, just half a world away.

And I would cross the universe for you,

but what good would it do if you weren't even there?

'Til you return, until your way is clear, I will be here.

Not half a world away."