The Final Initiative

50.

A/N: I'm sure you all have an idea as to what this chapter will consist of. Death is never an easy thing to depict in a story, for those of you who have lost someone, you certainly understand. Kobe Bryant and his daughter Gianna Bryant were killed in a helicopter crash, along with John Altobelli and Keri Altobelli, and their daughter Alyssa, Sarah and Payton Chester, Christiana Mauser, and Ara Zobayan. These are real people who were taken far before their time. I couldn't help but to think of them as I wrote this chapter, and that made it difficult.

We must keep these nine people in our thoughts and prayers, as well as their families who have been devastated by the loss of their loved ones. We must tell the people in our lives that we love them. We can't wait until tomorrow to say it because tomorrow can be taken away in an instant.

💫

I love you, lilley, it's been nearly four years since you were taken away, four years since i last saw your face, and my love for you has not changed. I love you too, uncle j, i still sometimes pick up the phone to call you, but then remember that i can't. but i know you're up there with rachel and auntie d, and i'm sure you'd rather stay up there.

thank you :)

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"My name is Jessi Elizabeth Stark"

It was not Sebastian anymore, but in actuality, it never was.

At the time when I first introduced myself to him on the tarmac of that airport all of those years ago, he couldn't begin to process the fact that I existed in his world. That a momentary decision that he made nearly a whole decade prior resulted in me. Was this what our lives were leading to? All of the hardships, the fights, and the ache? Each day building on the one before it, slowly growing until an unbreakable bond was formed, never to be broken. I had no one in my life then, and suddenly I met my Dad. I was there, lonely in a world that had betrayed me by taking away the only source of light in my life, and then I saw my Dad walking down from the plane. I can still see him as vividly as if he was still here.

I exhaled as the blinding light faded, which left my heart drowning in the darkness of his sacrifice. This had to have been a nightmare, or much, much worse. If only it could have been a dream so that I'd have the ability to force myself awake, and return to the comfort and warmth of my bed. I'd be awake, and he'd be there, preparing something delicious on the stove with Pepper sitting at the counter with a steaming cup of black coffee. The meter that began ticking when we met had run out of time, and now it was time for him to go, without me.

Not a single word could describe the way I felt in that moment. I wasn't even sure if my mind would allow for me to fully process the weight that had just settled over it. Denial was there primarily at first, because of how quick it all unfolded. I slumped out from Strange's grasp, staring blankly ahead at him sitting with his back against a broken wall. Peter was the first one there. Dad has to be alright, right? Nothing in this entire universe could take him away so suddenly. I won't believe it, I can't. Although my thoughts were telling me that this wasn't true, my body involuntarily reacted in a chilled manner.

A confused, ill-prepared, lost, and heartbroken sensation washed over me, dragging my limbs down as if they weighed five-hundred pounds, and slowly squeezed my heart as the seconds crawled by. I moved forward, maneuvering through the deceased alien bodies towards him. Many of my Avengers were around me, but I don't recalling seeing any of them as I went. They moved out of the way and let me pass with tragedy-stricken eyes. I appeared uneasily behind Pepper, my head turning away at the gruesome sight, but my eyes refused to leave him. Pepper placed a gentle kiss on his cheek, and turned on her knees to face me, holding out her hand.

'This was it' she was telling me with her eyes 'there's nothing more that we can do here'. I had felt this great sorrow once before in my life, a long, long time ago. I hoped that it would be the last time. That whoever was watching over me from above would just let me have this one privilege, it's all I ever asked for. So that I may breath contently and smile genuinely. But now, I'm left behind to dream about what could have been, instead of getting the chance to experience it for myself. The one who raised me, yet grew with me at the same time, was fading. How could the fifteen years that we have behind us possibly ever be enough?

I got down on my knees beside him, my stomach twisting at his fatal wounds. He must have been in so much pain and anguish, he must have known full well that his breaths were now limited... and yet, he smiled at me. A smile that is forever imprinted onto my soul. I knew that I shouldn't cry, not now. He would always get on me for being too emotional anyway. I lifted my hand up, and he did the exact same, covering his hand with mine and holding it tightly at his chest. This was the last time that I'll ever speak with him, see him, and feel the last remnants of warmth in his hand. He doesn't need my tears, he needs to know that he did well, not just during the battle, but for me.

"I'll take care of Morgan" I promised quietly, forgetting the rest of the world that was around me as I stared into his dwindling brown eyes. I held his hand tighter "and our family" everyone that we had worked together with, everyone that had held an impact on both of our lives "and our universe" a universe that he fought to protect with his life. It will be carried on by me "I promise you I'll do this, Dad" he understood me. He couldn't respond, but his eyes assured me that he did, and that he loved me.

      I nodded my head, giving him a comforting, sad smile in return. There was nothing more that I could say to him. Our future was solidified because of him, because of the final deed that should have been mine to make, but he took it for me instead so that I could live. Iron Man's last act was saving the universe, and saving me.

I continued to hold his hand as the light in his ARC reactor burnt out. His hand fell from mine as the last breath escaped from his lips, and he was gone. As the light flickered out, the full devastation ripped my heart in two. My hand remained on his armored chest, my eyes darting between his which no longer held life. Now I felt lost. Who I was just didn't seem to make sense anymore "D-dad?" I whispered, praying that maybe he'd come back, that this was just my imagination "Dad?" I asked hoarsely again, squeezing my eyes shut as the tears escaped "W-wait" I took his hand, holding it against my cheek "I.. Dad, just- don't go" my voice raised up an octave involuntarily as my small pleas turned to painful begs "please please, you can't!"

      I wrapped my arms around him, hugging myself to him as I sobbed "oh my God" I cried in pure shock, my body trembling "oh God, no, Dad please! I love you, I love you" there was no heartbeat, no light, just silence. Pepper tearfully put her hands on my shoulders and pulled me away, clutching me in her arms. She rocked me back and fourth on the ground as I screamed, my vision nearly blinded by the heart-wrenching emotion on display. I couldn't breath, not without him. I'd never breathed a day in my life without him. I'd never lived a day of my life without him.

How do I live without you?