I Heard Goodbye

5

I watched you fade away
But I turned my head and closed my eyes
And prayed you'd stay
And I told myself that it'd be fine

"I-ikaw yun? Ikaw si Dy?"

"Why would I fucking lie?! Di ako kagaya mo!"

"I didn't know Dy. Hindi ko alam"

"Well now you know Ilay. Goodbye"

I wish I could have just said somethin', oh
When you said you needed time
I heard goodbye
Goodbye

"Dy!! Dyna!! Wait!!"

Gladly I was able to catch her.

"Tama na Dylan!! Ang sakit na ehh!"

"No. No Dy. I can't stop. Not now Dy. Please, just let me... please"

I hugged her from the back. Hindi ko namalayan umiiyak na pala ako.

"Nakakatawa ka Ilay. Kung hindi ko pa sasabihin sayo lahat wala ka naman yata balak umamin sa kagaguhan mo"

"I tried to Dy. I tried to tell you. Kaso... hindi kita mahanap. Ngayon lang ulit kita nakita Dy"

"Sa tingin mo sa lahat ng nalaman ko gugustuhin ko pa magpakita sayo?!"

"Alam ko. Alam ko gago ako Dy. Sorry. I'm really sorry"

"Bitawan mo ko Dylan"

"No"

"Bitaw sabi eh!!"

"Dyna... please..."

"Bibitaw ka o hindi mo na ko makikita kahit kailan?!"

"Dyna wag naman please. I've waited long enough to see you again Dyna..."

"You already saw me Dylan... but you played with me. You fcking played with my feelings!!"

"Dyna believe me. All my actions after the first week we met were all me. Gusto ko yung ginagawa ko."

"Gusto mo dahil gustong gusto mong may nilalarong feelings!"

"No!! It's not like that Dyna"

"Sa tingin mo maniniwala pa ko sayo?"

"How can I make you believe me? Dyna..."

"Lubayan mo ko"

Binitawan ko na siya. She then left me there. Standing, crying, kahit madaming nakakakita saken, wala akong pake. It's like telling me to die pero una ko siyang pinatay. Una ko siyang sinaktan. And I deserve to die triple times than her. I'm a jerk. I didn't even recognise who she was. I didn't even know she's the one I promised my lifetime. Ni hindi ko nagawang pansinin yung nararamdaman ko the moment I first saw her. Binawela ko lahat. Binalewala ko siya. And it's time for her to heal herself. I deserve to die... of loneliness, of guilt, of pain. I deserve it all. She deserves to be happy... without me.

Dyna's PoV

"I promise to find you again Dy and when that happens we'll never have to leave each other again"

"Promise?"

"Yes Dy!! No one can replace you in my heart I swear!"

"Sakin din Ilay! You will be my one and only Ilay!! Hanapin natin isa't isa ha?"

"Yes we will. Kung pwede lang di na ko umalis Dy..."

"You have to. Sabi ni tito it's for the better right?"

"I hope so"

*tsup

"W-what was that?"

"For you to smile Ilay hehe. Remember tayo lang okay?"

"Ok"

"You'll always be here Ilay" sabay turo ko sa puso ko "I hope ganun din ako sayo"

"Of course Dy. Of course"

With that we had our one last hug before we separated ways

10 years ago... and what? You forgot your promise Ilay. You forgot about me. And worse comes to worse, you chose to play with me and hurt me.

Gustong gusto kong maniwala sa lahat ng kilos mo. Gusto kong isipin na ikaw na yan Ilay, pero I can't erase the fact of the bet. Na kung wala yon hindi mo ko lalapitan, hindi mo ko kakausapin... or worse hindi mo ko mamahalin.

Pero kahit ganon... mahal... na mahal pa rin kita... kahit ang sakit sakit ng ginawa mo... minahal pa rin kita. Tangina di ba? Napakadaya mo. Sinaktan at sinaktan mo ko pero eto ako nahulog pa rin sa bitag mo.

Sinabi kong lubayan mo ko dahil gusto kong makahinga mula sayo. Gusto kong ipahinga puso at utak ko sa ginagawa mo. Ayokong dumating ang araw na kamuhian kita hanggang dulo. Kaya hanggang dito na muna siguro tayo.