Dumb LOTF shit I think of a lot

Self Insert Time

Im on an island. I don't have my phone.

bruh

I walk around and I hear a loud ass trumpet.

Hm yes other human

I head out. This blond fucker be blowing a shell. everyone is wearing what seemed to be a uniform. My Californian ass didn't break a sweat.

"Ew a girl."

I whip around about to fight whoever just disrespect wamen. An ugly ass ginger bitch.

What in the goddamn.

I walk over to the ginger fucker and deck him so hard that he dies immediately. Everone watches me wearily. I caught eyes with the tan man. I followed him a took the fancy shell. I raised the conch and looked back at everyone. I grinned

"Look at me," I pointed to my eyes, "I'm the captain now."

Everyone nodded.

We made a fire and a plane came. A silhouette stepped out of the door. 

It was Richard Nixon.

The ginger guy, Jack apparently, was resurrected by the presence of cowardice. Jack kills me immediately. 

Jokes on him. I'm god now. He and his C# praises me now. Just Isabella. 

I'm your god now.