His teammate

Chapter 10 - He's laughing at me?

I've made it over to the grey comfortable couch, laying on my back and looking out of the window. I see the trees swaying outside and the clouds rolling over the sky. The sun has just begun to rise, making the clouds shift in different pink and orange colors. I got home after midnight last night and haven't even slept one minute all night. I laid in my bed for the first four hours, trying to find some peace and sleep, but when that didn't happen I moved over to the couch. I have to get up to work in a while, but is laying here silent at the moment, letting my mind go wild.

Yesterday was awful. I love the guys, they are so sweet and funny, but the tension was way too much. Link was giving me sexual remarks all the time, though they were hidden, so I'm not sure that anyone else understood them, which is good.

God, that guy makes me so irritated! He's an real asshole.

The way he talks about girls, which he apparently do all the time, is like they were objects. Or worse, sexual toys. I could feel Daniel become uncomfortable as Link talked about what he would do to a woman he saw on the TV or the way he described the sex-date he had been on a week ago. Yuk! I can't believe that I slept with him. It's disgusting. He has probably been with hundreds of women. I should go get tested, even though we used a condom.

His stare though still make me weak. It's insane how powerful his eyes are, they are really piercing down deep into my soul when he looks at me. Not to talk about his touch. I thought it would be fine when we were so few last night, that he wouldn't find a way to be near me, but he found it. Like when I got out from the bathroom, he decided to go in after me, making sure that he touched my hand or my shoulder when he walked by me. Or how he always happened to reach for the bowl of chips at the same time as me so our hands touched, giving me electric shocks up my arm.

I hate my own reaction to that too. It would make me blush and for some horrible reason reach for Daniel. I would hold his hand, play with his hair or, worst of all, lean in to give him a kiss. I could feel Link's eyes on us as I did. I hate it, because I know that I did it only to make him jealous.

Why would I care what he felt? Why did I care?

I was so relieved when the night ended and it was time to go home. It was exhausting to be around Link for more than a couple of minutes, let alone a couple of hours. It wasn't until I got home that I remembered that Daniel lived in the same building as Luke. That made me wonder why he hadn't invited me to his place after. We'd been going out for a couple of weeks now, been on several dates, kissed and cuddle, but still no hint on anything else.

He didn't even try to feel me up, which made me frustrated. Then again, did I want him to? I really like Daniel, he's the sweetest guy I've ever met and so funny and nice to be around. But I have a feeling, that I've felt before, that it's basically the same as with Joe and that scares me. Do I not like Daniel like that? You know, like like him? It makes me sad to think about it. First of all because I really like him, he's one of the few people that I feel really comfortable around, and secondly because I really, really hate hurting people. The thought about once again telling someone that I don't have those feelings for them, makes my stomach turn. But maybe I have to? Or do I feel something for him?

Argh! I don't know.

I get myself up and over to the bathroom to get a shower, it's already six thirty and I need to get ready for work. I'm so tired that it's hard to keep my eyes open, but I still know that I won't be able to sleep until I've figured out what I'm going to do. I put on a pair of jeans and a hoodie, putting my hair up in a messy bun on my head before heading out into the lightly dripping air. I get into the Bakery a minute before my shift starts and Lea looks up as I come inside. Her eyes goes wide as she sees me, but she continues taking the order from a customer.