❦♰❀ reddie smut ☿✿☆

40. want you more

by: wheezebraks

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Being stuck in the hospital, hooked up to various different machines and only being able to get up and walk around like, twice a fucking day, it leaves plenty of time really dive deep into the depths of his mind. And, like, okay sure, his life wasn't all that great: New York City sucks, it's overcrowded and littered, people are really fucking rude, and what was ever the appeal of this place? He likes his job, so at least he gets in a little while of not being tightly wound. But after work? Oh, he gets to go home to his overbearing wife who handles him with kid gloves and hounds him to take medications he doesn't even fucking need. And, oh yeah, he realized that Myra was a carbon copy of his mother - his mother!

So at least he's not bored in the hospital, right?

He thinks of Derry, too, or at least the good parts of Derry: his best friends, the Losers Club! And he thinks about the clubhouse, his shared comic books, the hammock, he thinks about diving into the quarry, and spitting loogies into it. Somehow, separately, he thinks of Richie. Because, while he was apart of the club and he was definitely in all of those memories, it was always different with him. Aside from hanging out with all of them, Richie would sneak into his window and spend the night. He'd come over when Eddie wasn't allowed outside. He was always the one to remind Eddie how strong he was, how brave. Eddie loved the Loser's, but he loved Richie different.

Of course, he doesn't realize how different until Richie is standing across from him at the Jade, and he's making jokes at Eddie's expense, and teasing him, and just overall looking at Eddie like he's something important.

And to make things worse, or better he doesn't fucking know, Richie stayed with him at the hospital almost every single night. Even when Ben and Bev left together, and Bill eventually went back to his wife, Mike left next, headed to Florida, but not before telling Eddie he would fly back if he needed him and hugging him for like ten minutes straight, Richie still stayed.

When he did finally go back to California, it was only when Eddie was discharged and he went back to New York. To his life, to his wife. To his job.

(Sometimes after they both depart, Richie sends his address with the messages, here if you ever need me. Because, of course he does, Eddie had complained a bit about going back home.)

The problem? Eddie is more miserable now, and it probably has something to do with the fact that he's aware of what he's missing out on. Mike's having a great time in Florida (he sends so many pictures and updates in the group chat), Richie went back to his dream job, oh and he lives in the same fucking state and Bill and Audra, Ben and Beverly combined their lives and are enjoying every second together in Nebraska. And Eddie is living in hell, his mother included!

He doesn't contribute much to the Loser's chat, not when everyone else is sending such incredible updates.

So, when it all comes raining down, Eddie isn't really surprised. Myra is going on and fucking on about something he doesn't care about. They're at the dinner table and he's moving his food around his plate, eyes heavy - he's completely in his own mind so he doesn't hear Myra ask him a question.

All of a sudden, he can feel her gaze biting into him and he jolts, " — what?"

She eyes him, it makes him uncomfortable, small, "I asked if you took your medication today, you look exhausted. Are you getting sick? I told you you were working too much, Eddie bear, this is what happens —"

"I want a divorce."

She stops, and it's the first time she's ever been speechless. She just gawks at him, expression twisted from mock worry, to confusion, to something he doesn't even recognize. "No you don't."