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98. god's got a sick sense of humor

by: bimmyshrug

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Ever since Eddie told Richie that he's been feeling... confused, they've had a sort of routine.

Every Saturday night, Mrs. K has a "Ladies' Night" with her church group, which mostly consists of them baking and cooking for the reception after mass the next day, while sipping glasses of white wine and no doubt passive-aggressively complaining about their marriages in that way that Christian women do.

"Oh, things with Harry have been tough recently. God is really testing us, it seems."

'God is testing me.' That's something he hears Eddie say. Quite a fucking lot.

Which he always finds sort of funny, not in a 'ha-ha' kind of way, but in a 'why would God set you up to fail if he loves you' kind of way. Not saying all these old ladies in their half-baked marriages getting wine tipsy on a Saturday night are going to fail. Certainly, most of them will remain in their (mostly unhappy) marriages until the day they die, Richie is sure.

But if God really is 'testing' Eddie, Eddie has definitely already failed that test. Over and over again. Every Saturday night while his mom is over at Monica Corcoran's house, baking muffins for church the next day. For months.

And especially today, Richie is sure, because of what Eddie had told him on the phone before coming over.

Eddie always calls first to make sure it's okay for him to come over, which Richie finds funny, too. Like Richie would ever say no. Like his window isn't already unlocked all weekend, waiting for Eddie to climb through it the moment he's alone. Just like Eddie keeps his window unlocked nearly every other night for Richie to climb through, when they mostly just hold each other in Eddie's bed and speak with hushed voices, even though Richie is pretty sure Mrs. K is on some serious sleep medication most nights and wouldn't wake up anyway.

Which is why he takes the risk and gives in sometimes, reaching a hand into Eddie's shorts when he begs extra sweet. Sometimes it's his own hand moving over Eddie's cock until he spills into his underwear, sometimes he has two of his fingers buried inside of him while Eddie jerks himself off, so fast that Richie feels tempted to tell him to be gentler before he hurts himself, for Christ's sake.

Definitely always has his other hand firmly held against Eddie's mouth, though. Because Eddie is loud. And Richie fucking loves that, but he definitely doesn't want to risk Eddie's mom waking up.

You're so fucking loud, baby. What if your mom wakes up and sees what you've been up to while she's asleep in the next room? What if she finds out that you let the 'dirty Tozier boy' touch you like this?

That usually makes Eddie come into his underwear, his legs twitching against Richie's as he squirms in his arms. And usually makes Richie come too, honestly, where he's normally grinding against Eddie's ass or sometimes his thighs. Feeling the little panting breaths that Eddie lets out against his fingers go harsh and ragged, and hearing the way he whines in the back of his throat when he comes. Yeah. That's good.

But, you know, also seems like evidence that Eddie is failing that test from God. Whatever test he thinks this is.

And that's why he's particularly taken aback on the phone when Eddie tells him that he wants to have sex. Like, with a girl.

"Myra said she wants to. So, I don't know. I think I should, right? Like- like just to see? If I like it? Do you think I should?"

Myra, right. Eddie's little church girlfriend. Not my girlfriend, Eddie always insists. Which Richie really does find relieving, but just barely. They go on dates sometimes, mostly to appease Eddie's mom. Boring dates. At least, that's what Eddie says. She's just so fucking boring, Richie.