❦♰❀ reddie smut ☿✿☆

82. you shine brighter than the deadlights

by: iamleavingthisfandom

https://archiveofourown.org/works/22211140?view_adult=true

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Even through the haze of sleep, Richie could feel tears streaming down his cheeks. He knew he was sobbing and his shoulders were shaking, even if he didn't have full control over his movements yet.

As he started taking in the world around him more, he realized there was a hand running through his hair soothingly. He knew he was sobbing into something soft, but for a fraction of a second he mistook it for a pillow. After a moment of confusion, he opened his watery eyes and saw that it was a T-shirt-covered shoulder. He also heard a soft voice next to his ear.

"Hey, it's okay, it's okay, it's just a nightmare, it's okay, you're okay," slowly, following the reassurances, Richie's sobs subsided. "There you go, that's it, you're fine, everything's fine."

Once he had stopped shaking, Richie took a couple of steadying breaths and looked up. Eddie gave him a small smile, still petting his hair.

"Eds," he was close to sobbing again. Seemingly sensing it, Eddie moved down to press a kiss to his forehead. He then faced Richie again and held him close with an arm around his back, looking him in the eyes. Richie fidgeted a bit and fought the desire to look away. Eddie waited patiently for him to relax in his hold again and for his eyes to stop shifting.

"Do you want to talk about it?" Eddie's tone was caring, but not insistent, which he appreciated. He didn't know how to bring it up, really. He hadn't actually mentioned that he had nightmares about that night at Neilbolt. A lot. So far, they would happen at least three times a week without Eddie. He hadn't gotten them in about a week and a half that he'd fallen asleep with Eddie in his arms, so he thought there was no need to talk about them. But now, with Eddie looking at him gently and holding him close, pressing an arm into him to ground him, somehow, it didn't seem quite as impossible anymore. He nodded slowly and took a long breath.

He paused, unsure of what to start with. Eddie didn't rush him, just started rubbing small circles into his shoulder blades with his fingers.

"I— damn it, this is hard," he let out a nervous laugh, but something in Eddie's eyes stopped him from covering his face with his hand, as he wanted to. The way Eddie just kept looking at him, waiting and not forcing anything. It wasn't something he'd experienced a whole lot.

He took another breath, steadying himself.

"I get nightmares about the night at Neilbolt, yeah? Like, a lot." Maybe he could have tried to explain why he never mentioned them before. Maybe he could have articulated something about vulnerability and the mortifying ordeal of being known and all that shit.

Eddie didn't ask, though.

"It's not weird. You know I've gotten a couple, too." They had discussed that very briefly during one early morning phone call, because, well, Eddie didn't sound like himself, so Richie asked. "They weren't as intense as yours looked, but everyone processes things differently."

"It's not just that," he closed his eyes before rushing out the words, "I see what I saw in the deadlights."

When he opened his eyes again, nothing had changed. Eddie was still looking at him calmly and rubbing circles into his back.

They hadn't gotten to talk about the deadlights, not really. With the rush of victory, and then the rush of confessing, and then the rush of making up for the past 27 years, this topic was just sort of brushed over. Not that Richie really wanted to talk about it.