Oscillation | [H.S]

Chapter 23

Harry had kept me waiting for a long time before he came up to his room. When I got into the bed at first, freshly showered and my teeth brushed, I was shaking anxiously. My breath was uneven and I kept looking with large eyes towards the door. Did he have the intention to have sex with me tonight? I wasn't ready. Not sure if I ever would be.

I was also angry at myself for letting myself go during the kiss that had happened not long ago. I kissed him back. Regret filled every corner of my body. He had been so warm and nice. It was a vague form of comfort to me, which is probably why I kissed him back. I hadn't had any comfort in a long time.

When Harry came back I was surprised. He almost fell into the room, stumbling in and holding the door handle for support. The white blouse he was wearing was slightly stained and wide open. The curls that hung around his face were wild and he reeked. A heavy odour of several kinds of alcohol formed a cloud around him.

Without acknowledging me, he stumbled towards the ensuite, where he stayed for at least fifteen minutes. Why had he suddenly drunk so much? Had something happened? Would I be the dupe of his overconsumption now? I hadn't ever seen Harry drunk. Yet, I had seen him high and that hadn't ended well for me.

"Kitten." His form hung against the doorframe, clad in just his black boxer. Tattoos were spread all over his body with the light casting just the right shadows on them. His eyes were out of focus, rolling slightly in their sockets.

Out of instinct, I got up and walked to him tentatively. He tumbled a bit in my direction. My hands flew up to his chest to catch him, straining under the heavy weight that was put on them. I pushed him upright a bit with quite a lot of effort. His mouth hung open a bit and he licked his lips.

"Get me to bed." He demanded, although the words were mostly slurred. I hooked his heavy arm around my shoulders and guided him to the bed, not being the best support due to my small frame. But, we made it. He collapsed on his side, rolled over on his back and spread his limbs all over the mattress. I crawled to my side from the foot of the bed, laying down close against the wall.

The smell of alcohol was now mostly replaced my a minty smell. I observed him while he had his eyes closed. His skin was even whiter than it always was and the dark circles were prominent. A frown was carved into his face.

"I can feel you staring." Harry mumbled, words still slightly slurring, but he kept his eyes closed. I felt a blush creep up to my cheeks.

"Do you think I am attractive?" He spoke then. The question surprised me. I didn't think of Harry as a person who could care about simple thing such as beauty. I nodded shortly anyway, giving him the truth, being obedient. It took me a second to realise he couldn't see it as his eyes were still closed.

"Yes" I verbalised softly. He opened his eyes upon hearing my answer and he moved to grab my hips, pulling me flush against him. I was spooning him from the side now, just as I had done the first night. My breath hitched. I was secretly hoping he was too drunk to touch me.

"If there was one thing in the world you could do, what would it be?" He questioned me, surprising me again. His mood was very... not-Harry. He was always so demanding and in control and now he seemed relaxed, letting himself go a bit. I bit my lip for a bit, pondering over what I really wanted. My eyes followed the outline the two tattooed swallows right beneath his collarbones.

"Be free." I whispered, my lips almost touching his chest because I turned my head away to avoid his reaction. He hummed once again, not mockingly, but just affirming my answer. I had expected him to get angry.

"What about you?" I was sure I wouldn't get an answer. He was a secretive person and he never shared anything with me. I only learned his last name today and that was probably all I knew about him. His name. That's it.