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by binniee_

by binniee_

"Why aren't you asleep," Jeno asked me, his cold face not showing any emotions. "Can't sleep" I shrugged my shoulders, what did he want to know. That I can't sleep because I see the man's eyes. Or that I can't sleep because deep down everyone in this house has a monster inside themselves. It feels weird.....weird that such nice, childish people have this side in them. The side where they will kill with no mercy, and no second thoughts. "Alright, I'm going up to my room" I just hummed in response, waiting till he's gone so I can go to my own room.

It's 6 in the morning and I already can hear some of the boys running around and walking downstairs. I survived one of the worst nights in my life, I didn't sleep one second. So I dragged myself to the bathroom, washing my face, and doing the usual in the morning. I put some sports clothes because I know that Jeno and I will be working out after breakfast, I just don't want to leave the house. I want to stay in here....don't want the things to repeat.

I walked into the kitchen, most of the boys already eating. I just sat between Jaehyun and Jaemin, saying nothing. Nobody talked either, they didn't even give me a glance, but it wasn't something weird, because even when other boys came down they just sat and ate in silence. And that's how breakfast was, everyone just eating and nobody interacting in any way. But it's still weird because most of the time they are cracking jokes and being all stupid. Something is up....and I feel like it's not good.

I stopped eating, looking up to the boys, I met Jaehyun's eyes, and he shook his head 'no' for me not to ask or say anything. I just nodded my head, taking a deep breath, drinking my water that was on the table. I wasn't hungry anymore, so I just sat there waiting for one of the leaders to tell me what is up.

"Alright, we need to talk," Taeyong said after most of the members finished eating. All the attention was on him, and the only sound in the room was the clock on the wall "As you might already know, there are people after us, the people that wanted Mina to get our files. They still somehow found out how many members we have, I guess because Mina faked 21 files so they put two and two together. But that's not important, they don't know our strengths or plans. But because they attacked Jeno and Mina in the forest they probably know that our HQ is located near the forest. It's nothing serious because we will kill them before any of our private information can leak to the public"
His voice was cold, not that I wasn't used to it, but it still gave me goosebumps. "Ten, you can speak now" Ten nodded his head, cleaning his throat "we found out where they are hiding, they have 13 members in their gang, plus some minions making it 40 in total. We will need everyone to help, which means that this is Mina's first mission. But she will stay behind with Jeno, and help the leaders, lead the mission through the computers. Till then Mina will be prepared because the mission will be starting next week, we still have to come up with a plan so that nobody can get hurt in any way. Jeno, you will teach her the way how our missions are done, how we communicate through it, and how to make sure that everybody is safe."
Jeno just nodded his head, I was happy that I won't be going with them to the HQ because I will most probably get myself killed. And that's not what I want. "Till then, you all have time to rest, make sure that your uniforms are ready, and bulletproof, make sure that the guns are cleaned, the earpieces are working, and that you have the location tracer hidden somewhere on your body. We will make a health check the day before we take off so make sure you all stay healthy because all of you don't have any specific sicknesses" Jaehyun spoke this time

"Mark, make sure the Dream unit is ready and fully prepared, Kun take care of WayV and Taeyong will take care of 127, and I'm going to make sure that Mina and Jeno are ready for this mission too" Jaehyun spoke. I was happy....happy that I won't be the one going to the HQ, and killing people. Even if they wanted Jeno and me dead, I can't and won't pull the trigger. Well...I will avoid it as long, as I can.
"You all are free to do whatever you want" and with that he left the kitchen, heading off to his office I guess. I cleaned up after myself, leaving the kitchen right after, I could feel the eyes on my back but I didn't turn around.

I jumped onto Jeno's bed, staring into space. Jeno said that we will train later because he wasn't in the mood for it. And that he will show me how the missions are done after he takes a shower. So right now I'm waiting for him, in his room, on his bed which just smelled like him. Making me feel different kinds of things...Jeno was perfect in any way possible. But his cold personality, and the poker face that he always had made him...hard to read. I have the feeling that he doesn't even like me. That he hates it to be my partner, that he hates it to take care of me and train me for the mission. And that he just wants me far away from himself.

I couldn't help but feel that way. All the members talk to me, smile at me, make jokes with me. But he, I have the feeling that he only cares because it's his job, a job given by the two head-leaders. And a job, that he needs to do, and make me a mafia member.

I closed my eyes, my head throbbing, lack of sleep making it hard for me to concentrate and think straight. I turned onto my stomach, burying my face into the blanket, pulling my hair out of frustration. I want to sleep again, sleep like back then. Back then, when NCT knew me under the name "Lil genius" a name that I didn't even like, back then when NCT wasn't a part of my life when I didn't saw how someone was killed in front of my eyes. And when I was just...alone with nobody around just wild animals and forest surrounding me.

I started to hit my head, the scenes of that man getting shot played in my head. The way his dark brown eyes, stared right into my face. "Stop it" I heard a voice and big warm hands grabbing my wrists to stop me from hitting myself any more. I looked up, only to be met by Jeno, his hair still wet and his white shirt stick to his muscular body. I just looked into his eyes, his eyes half ways covered by his damp hair, and his round glasses made him even more attractive then he already is. "Why are you hurting yourself," he asked, his voice deep, and again he had his well-known poker face on. "F-flashbacks" was the only word I could say. A whole sentence was too much for me to form. "You have to talk about it, and not hit yourself, it won't get better" I scoffed, pushing myself away from him, and his warm hands slipped away from my wrists. "With who, who would listen to me. You all are killing, with no mercy I would look pathetic to cry just because someone was killed" I wasn't mad, I was sad...angry at myself and just done with life. "It's not like that" he sat next to me on the bed staring into my eyes. His eyes were just dark, there wasn't sparkle like by other people. He looked dead.....dead inside