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by binniee_

by binniee_

I fell asleep not long after Jeno left, I wasn't cold anymore. And I wasn't sweating anymore.

I woke up after I heard someone walk around in the room. I opened my eyes, looking at the person without moving
"Haechan, what are you doing?" I asked the boy who was walking around in the room. He flinched after he heard my voice "oh, I'm sorry to wake you up, but Jeno told me to get him his phone" I nodded my head, closing my eyes again trying to fall back asleep. But I wasn't tired anymore, Haechan left the room. Closing the door softly after himself, I turned to the clock. Which was showing early hours, it was 5 a.m.
"What the fuck is jeno doing at this time," I asked myself, but I just shrugged it off. Trying to get the older boy out of my head. But it was easier said than done....his scent was around me, I was wearing his sweater and I was in his bed. But even if that made my heartbeat in an uncomfortable way, I didn't want to leave.

A half-hour passed until I heard steps coming closer. I closed my eyes, pulling the cover over me, acting like I was asleep, my back facing the door. I didn't want him to know that I'm still awake. So when I heard the door open, I breathed a bit louder and deeper for him to believe me, that I'm asleep. Jeno didn't turn the lights off, the only light was coming from his phone, he was lighting his way to the bed. I felt him get in, pulling the covers over himself, the same covers I was under. My heart was about to burst at the moment. But I wasn't moving...I was only chewing on my lip, trying not to make any noise

He was on his phone, not moving or talking. I mean who would he talk to. My back was facing him, I was happy that I didn't have to face him. "Mina, you asleep" I heard him whisper, I didn't respond, so he didn't call for me anymore. He shut his phone, placing it on the nightstand, I felt him move under the covers. Letting out a breath, before everything went silent. And not long after Jeno fell asleep

"Why is he sleeping at such a late hour, is he always awake that long," I thought, somehow worried about him and his health. He was working, he's in the gym every day and he's under stress daily, a lack of sleep is not good for his body. Not to mention, that he's very young, and that his body needs to rest.

"I will observe him for some time, I will not push it out of him" I again thought to myself. I heard Jeno snore lightly behind me, his body so close to mine that I even felt the warmth of his body on my back. I slowly turned towards him, looking right into his face. He looked calm, his dark hair falling over his eyes, his lips were slightly parted, and the mole under his eye was so attractive to him.

God really is unfair...he gave him so much beauty, amazing body, and he's smart. While I'm only the brain, I don't have the looks....but looks won't get me somewhere in life....I'm telling that to myself since I'm little

I couldn't bring myself to close my eyes or take them away from him. I wanted to touch his skin, but I didn't want to risk it to wake him up.

I shook my head, shaking the thoughts out of my brain, closing my eyes, trying to fall asleep again. But it wasn't possible. Jeno started to breathe heavier, he started to whimper in his sleep. Like he was in pain, I opened my eyes, only to see him breathing quickly. He was turning and tossing around. Trying to catch his breath

He woke up, sitting up. He had a panic attack.....I didn't know what to do, my brain was frozen. His breathing was still uneven, his shaky hands pulling on his soft hair. He was hurting himself, hitting his head, and pulling on his hair. I grabbed his wrists, holding them the same way, he did it back then when I had those flashbacks "It's fine" I whispered, sliding my hands down his wrists, grabbing his soft hands, which were shaking uncontrollably. His eyes were closed, his lip stuck between his teeth, and his hair a mess. He was gripping on my hands tightly, so tight that it was a bit painful but I let him. I didn't say anything, not because I didn't know what to say, but because I felt like he didn't want to talk about it or be comforted in any way. So I just sat there, making sure that he's breathing and that he isn't panicking. He took deep breaths, I felt like....he knew what was going on. Like he was used to it, and I felt even more worried and sorry because of it.

I let him squeeze my hand, for a long time. Until he calmed down

After he calmed down, his eyes still remained closed. I was still quiet, letting him decide if he wants to say something or not. But he just laid back on the bed, still holding my left hand while he faced my side eyes closed. My heart skipped a beat, I wasn't counting the heart attack anymore "thank you" he whispered, his hand still holding mine. I was frozen, my eyes fixed on his long fingers, which were wrapped around my hand. It felt warm, I slowly laid down, my chest facing the ceiling while my eyes were fixed on the boy next to me. He wasn't asleep, because he was still chewing on his lip, so hard that it was already bleeding.

I slowly moved my hand towards his lips, placing my thumb right below, his lower lip, pulling it out from between his teeth, his eyes opened and the light that came through the window was reflecting in his eyes.

"Don't hurt yourself, squeeze my hand instead" I told him, my voice still very weak. He just looked at me, I could only see part of his face, but his eyes pulled me into a different kind of world. It was like, I just want to look at them, I saw lights in them. I saw protection in them, and comfort. But I guess I only imagine those things because I have a little crush on him. So I didn't think much about it, I turned my face away, looking at the ceiling. My eyes wide open, I won't be sleeping anytime soon. I wasn't tired at all, I just wanted Jeno to fall asleep and rest "Sleep, you need to rest" I whispered, not looking at him because I still felt his eyes on me. I heard and felt him, pulling the covers closer to himself with the freehand. A deep breath leaving his lungs, I was silent, my thumb playing with his fingers, his soft skin feeling warm under my touch.

It took ten minutes for him to fall asleep, he was scoffing and turning, but his hand never left mine. It felt nice to know that he finds comfort in my touch...

Jeno was sleeping tightly, my hand still playing with his long, slim fingers. He snored lightly, but he looked very peaceful. I tried to pull my hand away from his grip, but he only held it stronger, it made me smile. So I stayed in that position, my hand holding his, while my body was facing the ceiling and his chest was almost pressed again my side.

The sun was coming up, the light coming through the window. It looked like it's going to be a nice day, and the yellow light was reflecting on Jeno's clean skin. He looked breathtaking, his chest was rising up and down. His fingers still wrapped around my hand, even after almost 3 hours. Yes...it was 8 a.m I spent the last 3 hours observing Jeno and feeling his warmth so close to me.

I heard a knock on Jeno's door, it was the same boy that woke me up. Haechan was peeking through the door, looking at Jeno and then at me, giving me a smile. "I thought he won't sleep at all, it took a lot of forcing to get him to bed" Haechan whispered, a smile still plastered across his face. I looked at the sleeping boy, and then at the older boy at the door "it was hard to get him to sleep, he fell asleep after a lot of struggling" I whispered back, Haechan'a smile turned into a sad frown. "He never sleeps a night through, most of the time he's staying awake for hours. Until he just passes out" I felt so, so sorry. "Tell the other to not bother Jeno today, I will let him sleep until he wakes up" Haechan nodded his head, waving before leaving the room.

"I guess I'm babysitting Jeno today," I thought to myself, a smile on my face while I run my other hand through his hair