The Dance

Keeping Secrets

Christine fluttered her gaze from meeting Stevie's inquisitive eyes "I don't want to talk about it Steph!" Christine gulped, her throat still felt burnt, clearly from vomitting "You don't want to know either!" She sighed, not wanting to be honest with Stevie, she was feeling  a little more sobered by this point and knew she wasn't ready to go into detail about things "Can I just sleep?" Christine asked exhaustedly, sliding her pants down to her ankles and kicking off her high heels before quickly and shakily wrapping the blanket around herself, because she felt shy and like Stevie was observing everything she did, trying to read her like a novel. 

Stevie knew even more that Christine was hiding things from her and she just wanted to give her a hug more than anything, she looked so fragile and sad as she huddled under the blanket, still looking ill, she knew she still had to try to get her to eat or drink something too "Chris, I am worried, you are clearly drinking a lot now I find out your taking pills, I know what klonopin did to me, have you been in rehab or something, some idiot prescribed you something?" Stevie asked concerned as she cupped Christine's face, staring into her glassy blue eyes "I don't want you to go through what I did, that shit nearly killed me, I will always hate that doctor who go me on it, have you been prescribed something, I can tell you aren't well, please talk to me!" Stevie pleaded. 

Christine gulped, looking up at Stevie, she wanted to pour her heart out to her, but she couldn't, not yet anyway, but she knew she needed to tell her a little, she didn't want her worrying, the tour was already stressful enough "They were just some sleeping pills, then a painkiller, that's all!" Christine admitted, Stevie always got the truth out of her somehow or some of it, no matter how, Stevie was just the one person she was never able to fool for long, same as Stevie couldn't fool her either, after so many years of time together, they could both sense things about each other. 

"People die from sleeping pills and your taking painkillers, are you addicted?" Stevie asked starting to panic, mentally kicking herself for full on hassling Christine. 

"Stevie, please don't stress, I'm not addicted to sleeping pills, right now I just want some fucking sleep!" Christine stammered, giving a little laugh "Pills are annoying for me, its hard getting the times right with alcohol, I've been too ill too many times from pills and booze!" She chuckled softly, trying desperately to lighten the mood, also feeling more tired.

"I really want you more sober before you sleep and I shouldn't have asked, I know you always hated sleeping, you didn't even like Quaaludes but are you using painkillers Chris?" Stevie said softly, knowing Christine's wording, she was still hiding something but she felt bad for hassling, Christine who was  clearly still very intoxicated and also very unwell from the alcohol. 

"Stevie darling, please relax, I threw up after boozing, that's it, just like always, so stop your worrying!" Christine stated smiling, pulling herself together more and not wanting to drag up her feelings and issues, her issues seemed so heavy on her and she was too drunk and exhausted to really care about anything. 

"You could have had alcohol poisoning Chris, to even throw up lemonade, its risky mixing pills  with the alcohol, that's how people overdose!" Stevie chastised. 

"I have overdosed before, don't worry about it!" Christine chuckled and watched Stevie's eyes widen, instantly regretting her honesty "I was joking honey, stop panicking, I'm know I'm older but your treating me like I a fragile old lady, is that what you see me as now?" Christine asked wanting to change the subject but also trailing off into her own insecurities, hurt showing in her voice as she felt her fears creeping in, that Stevie no longer would ever see her as she used to and she clutched the blanket around herself more. 

Stevie felt bad, wondering if Christine had overdosed or been in rehab or something over the years apart, thousands of theories rushed through her mind, she then felt bad, Christine was clearly insecure and she worried she was making her feel worse.