// A/N:
this is how Alex got her hair done.
it's been 5 weeks since I last spoke to Oli.
it's been 4 days since I left Quinn's house.
it's been 3 weeks since I've worn my ring.
the tour is almost over. only 3 weeks left and I'm scared as hell.
Quinn has to go to work at the vans store but we always did weird crazy shit when she got home.
we've probably made more cakes in these last weeks than most people make in a lifetime.
it took a week or so for the insomnia to go away but as of now I feel fine. I've been eating well and practicing my tattoo skills on my friends lately and going down to the beach a lot and reading about 1000 books but it's still not the same.
I haven't responded to Oli but I keep in touch with Lee. Jordan face times Quinn everyday and I talk to him sometimes.
they say they don't tell Oli about anything we talk about but I know they're lying. it's the only reason he stopped calling as much, he knows I'm not dead and I'm not dyeing, neither is our baby. I've only been to ultrasounds and back but that's as much as I want to do. Quinn tries to drag me out to get food or go places with everyone but I'm pregnant, clubs and bars aren't really my place. in a week or so I can find out if the baby's a boy or girl. I've been planning it out; my great comeback texting Oli the big news and apologizing but I just can't see it. I don't think he will forgive me now and I'm too scared to say anything so I sit in the same place all day everyday waiting to be ready. ready to talk to him but in all honestly I am ready, I'm just not ready to be ready - if that makes any sense, probably not.
I turn on my phone and check my voicemail justly to hear his voice, but I never respond. most people probably thinks I'm being ignorant or overreacting but not once has he said he's stopped. and that is what I need to hear.
The band comes home in 5 days and that scares me but at the same time I'm excited. I'm secretly hoping that I'll just bump into Oli and everything will be okay but I know it doesn't work like that.
I heard the door open and shut
"HONEY IM HOME" Quinn said walking into my room.
"the weirdest little basic 12 year olds came in today acting like they were all cool and shit then they tried to steel shoe laces, like who even steels shoe laces?!" she laughed opening my blinds and window.
she went through my still unpacked bag of clothes picking out a slipknot shirt and black jeans.
"what?" I questioned as Milo jumped up on my bed.
"your getting out of this house" Quinn said throwing the clothes at me
"oh yeah sure" I sarcastically said laying back down
"I'm serious. get the fuck up for once" Quinn was serious. like scary serious.
"well what's the occasion I need to know how to do my makeup" I asked trying to get a hint as to what was happening.
"hot makeup. like pin up and usual hair" she walked out of the room leaving me confused.
I had already taken a shower so I straightened my hair and did pin up makeup as she said.
I didn't want to leave the house, I didn't want to get out of my comfort zone after so long. I felt fat with my stomach getting bigger day by day. my stomach was still small from afar I just looked sort of chubby, you couldn't tell I was pregnant unless I told you but the 'fat' still bothered me in a way.
we got in her car and started to drive
"where exactly are we going?" I asked my anxiety going crazy being back out of my comfort zone.
"we're going to something you used to live for like you would die for it something that might get you back to you"
I gave her a weirded out look
"do we have to?" I questioned once again
"I need my friend back. yes we have to"
"what exactly would that be?"
"of mice & men" she replied smiling focusing on the road
